The theory that posits men can solve any challenge set before them by utilizing one of two fundamental, evolutionary paradigms. These paradigms are as follows: 1) The man can overcome any obstacle by pounding his way out and 2) what cannot be pounded out can be sexualized.
The alpha females were oppressing the beta males. When the beta males failed to overcome the female through poundage, they engaged in sexualizing their own inferiority by embracing their own cuckoldage. Thence, the alpha females submitted to the Evolutionary Masculinity Theory and lost their will to oppress, thus perpetuating the Inferior Female Theory.
by zeezer43 July 18, 2021
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Aged-Nut Theory

The theory that if a male does not masturbate or anything that causes them to nut then their nut will age. The long a male's nut ages the better it tastes for the female or male. A good comparison for nut will be wine. The longer a wine ages the better it tastes and the more of a luxury and delicacy it is.
Friend: "Hey man, you practice the Aged-nut Theory"
You: "Of course man, I'm trying to give my woman a delicious tasting nut"
by xemoo December 03, 2018
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The Denim Suit Theory

A situation where the female salesperson or counterpart is so hot she can convince the male party to do something stupid, like buy a denim suit.
That bar clearly use The Denim Suit Theory for their hiring policy.
by PartyInternational May 11, 2018
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g string theory

The law of physics that dictates that eyes will be more drawn to a g string than normal panties.
Teacher: "Class, the God particle..."
Ernie: "Whatever teach! Let's talk about g string theory and how Ashley's got it goin' on!!"
Teacher: "Right on, Ernie!"
by von groovy June 23, 2019
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critical based theory

mac and zach isn’t just a religion. we now mac and zach are exist, we can see them. therefore mac and zach are an academic study.
honey, our son just carved “this machine runs on cum” into his skull. i didn’t realize they were teaching critical based theory in 8th grade already?!
by came gang March 25, 2022
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Van Schwack Theory

The Van Schwack Theory, is the theory that it's very common in conversation that it is much harder and takes far longer to explain why something said is ignorant, then it does to simply say the ignorant thing.
Person 1: My friend is ignorant!
Person 2: What do you mean?
Person 1: Well they said something incredibly stupid sounding last night and it took me almost an hour to fully explain it. Like exponentially longer.
Person 2: Van Schwack.
Person 1: No, it was Kevin! Again!
Person 2: No, I mean the van schwack THEORY. You can say three words that take paragraphs to why it's ignorant. But you're right Kevin says some pretty dumb stuff. What did he say this time?
Person 1: It would take too long to explain...
Person 2: That's The Van Schwack Theory for you.
by Lark Bear May 23, 2022
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hot food theory

according to the cult kweed f4, every word that ends with "ood" sounds extremely hilarious
it's maybe because they have a weird sense of humor and are immature
the theory came from michael rosen's "hot food" vine

examples include jood, the hot food version of judy
hayden as hood
anna or apple as aood (you can't even pronounce this which makes it even weirder)
i would be surprised if you found this funny as well but please do give it a try on your name

oood bood (ok bye)
a: have you heard of the hot food theory
b: i am already laughing
a: aood lood
b: hood zood
a & b: joooooooood goooooooood
a: it makes no sense
b: ikr
by superiorlesbian September 26, 2020
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