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jesus brick-shitting christ

An expression meant to convey extreme surprise or disgust with a situation.
Ex 1: (Realizing you've been robbed). You: Jesus brick-shitting christ, they even took the toaster!
by Slick Bastard December 14, 2006
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Jesus Cold

A time when it is so cold outside that even Jesus Christ would complain about the cold.
See also: Jesus Hot, Jesus Cold, Jesus Lot, Jesus Sweet, Jesus Late, and Jesus Early
It was so Jesus Cold outside that i had to put on twenty layers of clothing and set the house on fire to keep warm.
by not_michael October 11, 2004
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Plastic Jesus

1. A Jesus figure made out of plastic
2. An item that gives serenity to its owner
I don't care if it rains or freezes, just as long as I have my plastic Jesus! - Chris Miller
by Ryan November 13, 2003
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what the jesus?

Like saying "What the hell?" or "What the fuck?" with softer language. Used in response to a completely random or inappropriate comment.
>It burns when I pee.
>>What the Jesus?
by geoff April 22, 2005
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Jebuscis

"I have a Jebuscis on my team!" This explains that my teammate is a garbage squeaker that probably plays Fortnite.
by Poopy_Lagoon_69 September 16, 2019
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Jesus Brace

n. Colloquial, Possibly Australian

See also oh shit bar

Found in automobiles, but appear to serve no purpose other than
a) assisting corpulent persons and/or people to alight the vehicle
b) grabbing on to in times of a potential accident to brace oneself, i.e driver exceeding the speed limit

So called for one of two reasons
i) person grabbing the 'brace' praying to their respective deity to avoid the accident, being an english term this is most likely to be a christian, hence use of 'Jesus'
ii) person audibly exclaiming 'Jesus!'in the same situation as above

In absence of a bar, may also be referred to as a 'Jesus Strap'
Jim clutched the Jesus Brace as his brother went drifting through the mountains Initial D style
by andrewfx51 April 3, 2009
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Jesus Powers

noun, at least I think so. could be a noun, could be an adjective, who gives a shit. parts of speech are lame anyway.

"Jesus Powers" is the description one applies to a particular person when a particular situation has occurred that defies logic and reason. When the impossible has not only been made possible, but accomplished as well then an individual may be referred to as having Jesus Powers.
(During a late night online first-person shooter match)

Guy 1:"Dude! I shot this asshole with, like, 30 fuckin' bullets! No fuckin' way he could have survived that shit. I was lighting his ass up!"

Guy 2: "Dude's got fuckin' Jesus powers man."

(While attending a magic show)

"How does Criss Angel do that shit? Must have Jesus powers."

Guy 1: "Fuckin' Jesus powers."
by COD blows BFBC2 ROCKS September 11, 2011
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