When I masturbate I think of you

What normal, rational girls don't want to hear.

After band class, some random kid told me "When I masturbate I think of you."

by Jinx (Name already Used) December 27, 2010

Masturbation will make you go blind

Blindness caused from masturbation as a result of ejaculating into oneselfs eyeballs.

Grandma said masturbation will make you go blind

by Yourwrongangel November 3, 2020

Obsessive-Masturbation Syndrome is Real October

When you want to nut in November so you do this.

Fuck No Nut November! Obsessive-Masturbation Syndrome is Real October it is!

by LazuliStar June 7, 2020

Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.

Not only does it make you go blind and grow hair on your palms, but it also kills kittens!

Jeff: What are you doing in there Steve?
Steve: Um...masturbating
Jeff: Steve NO! Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Think of the kittens!

by 89diehl September 26, 2010

Masturbe

When someone is masturbating a associate charges in and interrupts the session.

Rob was looking for some safety scissors and accidentally became the masturbe to Phil's trip to pound town.

by Jordanmlat April 6, 2021

masturbate

Lana was feeling lonely, so she opened "The hub" then she got wet, she started rubbing and a puddle of cum is now in her bed

I just masturbated

by poopystinkyanas May 20, 2022

joke masturbation

The act of laughing at or enjoying your own jokes to such an extent to which it may be seen to cause you arousal.

Steve: Don't you find it weird how Dave always laughs at his own jokes? They aren't even funny...

James: Yeah, he's really into joke masturbation.

by MegaP143 May 29, 2017