Funeral dildo

A communal sex toy (frequently a family heirloom) used to alleviate grief in times of mourning.

Aunt Enya stood by her husband's casket, tears cascading down her grief-stricken face as the wails of the women in the family filled the room. The air was heavy with sorrow, the weight of loss palpable in the mournful atmosphere.

Amidst the sorrow, a whispered secret emerged, passed down through generations - the ancient family "funeral dildo." Shock and disbelief clouded Enya's eyes as the women, consumed by grief, revealed the taboo object. In their shared pain, they sought solace in the forbidden comfort it offered.

One by one, the women took turns, finding a bittersweet release in their shared act of defiance against death's cruel grip. Enya watched, her heart heavy with a mix of shock and understanding. Even Nana Val, her frail body confined to a Victorian wheelchair, found temporary respite from her own suffering. As the night wore on, the echoes of grief softened, replaced by a fragile sense of peace.

In that moment, amongst the tears and whispered confessions, Aunt Enya found a glimmer of hope in the midst of her despair. The mourning dildo, with its taboo allure, had woven a strange tapestry of healing through the tangled threads of grief, binding the women together in a shared, sacred moment of release.

by sad grandma November 22, 2024

dildo

noun
noun: dildo; plural noun: dildos
1. an object, sometimes equipped with a vibration device, usually phallic in nature, used to provide sexual stimulation.

2. a city in Newfoundland, Canada.

3. a species of long, narrow cactus.

1. "she masturbated with a dildo."
2. "Hes been in Dildo."
3. "Look at all those dildos!"

by The Carolinian Linguist February 25, 2022

Dildo Joe

The originator of the mobile sex shop. Dildo Joe can be found roaming the streets of Manhattan wearing a black trench coat containing a moderate variety of sex toys. His private selection includes dildos, butt plugs, anal beads, vibrators, flesh lights and a few seasonal offerings (ex: President’s Day themed lingerie). He offers a fair price, along with the convenience of purchasing your favorite intimacy products when you need them most.

Aaron: Hey man, I really need to bust a nut and I’ve only got a 20 minute lunch break.

Michael: Go check out Dildo Joe, I just bought a few beads at the corner of Broadway and Canal.

Aaron: Thanks bro

by Djoe1011 March 21, 2024

The Kentucky dildo

The act of using shit as the dildo instead of using a actual dildo

I tried the Kentucky dildo for the first time last night.

by Random definition guy October 15, 2023

Salad dildo

Cucumber

I walked in and caught my uncle using the salad dildo mom

Bought for dinner

by Jacob Stancil November 8, 2025

Waffle Iron Dildo

The naiughtiest dildo on the the internet ever made

The dirtiest waffle iron dildo that slaps you around and makes you want to laugh while sucking it

by Hannahpetiudie July 30, 2021

dildo boys

Affiliated rockledge high School students who did whatever they wanted with no fucks given, it was also used to fuck with dbs (dirty boy swag) who were actual dildos

Random person: why is there a dick sharpied on the entire bathroom wall that's like 8 feet long?

Me: fuck must be them dildo boys fucking around... Again.

by Dildoboys March 2, 2019