misfortune cookie

Two definitions: (1)a bad piece of news or (2) a batch of cookies that turn out burnt, dry or bad tasting

(1) "I just got a misfortune cookie from my mom - our poodle Rex just died." (2) "Did you taste those misfortune cookies that Camille brought to the picnic? Bleck!"

by Ambient Guerilla November 19, 2009

Chair Cookie

Someone who contributes absolutely nothing to the world around them but merely sits there.

Student 1: Moe is such a chair cookie!
Student 2: Don't be so harsh. He got a 14 on that last math quiz!
Student 1: Yeah, but the teacher said she'd give us 14 free points for turning it in!
Student 2: Well, at least he turned it in.
Student 1: Actually, I found it on the floor and handed it in for him.

Student 2: Chair cookie.

by News Crew November 27, 2009

Shortbread cookies

A kiss on the sly. Usually over lunch with no one knowing about it

Rita said she was bringing me shortbread cookies. Unfortunately, she showed up with actual cookies!

by Mygearisdown December 8, 2010

Charity Cookie

1. <Noun> The impossibly difficult to avoid selection of cookies or other pastries found at the cashier of supermarkets and small stores. "Donations" offered for chartity cookies help maligned, misfortuned children or animals and often display a picture of said creatures by the cookies, begging for your patronage or fear suffering damnation or, at least, bad karma.

2. <Noun> a) The uncomfortable responsibility one feels when offering sex in sympathy or support, b) The actual sexual body part dubbed cutely in confectionary delight.

1. "Hey, where did you get that delicious looking cupcake?"

"I bought it and two other charity cookies for the Homeless Chincillas Drive."

2. Although husband and wife were fighting only moments ago, some things she said made her feel bad, so she offered him a charity cookie.

by Krzyzewski99 January 5, 2012

comparing cookies

the act of showing each other ones genitals.

Last night my girlfriend and I were comparing cookies, she showed me her cooter so I presented my one eyed walleye. She said mine was small, and I swear hers was a monster.

by Jboner September 12, 2013

sour cookie

When a whole bunch of guys jerk off onto a cookie and the last one to get off has to eat it

Keil came last so he had to eat the sour cookie

by pinwoodle October 21, 2013

fish cookie

When you fart in your hand and swiftly deliver said fart to the face of your nearest victim for their olfactory delight.

Oh man...he fish cookied me and it smelled like Big Foots dick.

by PurplePotatoe March 6, 2016