Twitter 

The space between the twat and the shitter.

I was all up in her twitter last night.

I followed that twitter all the way to Kansas.

Twitter by m.A.A.d Man July 9, 2014

twitter memory 

Being able to recall tweets effortlessly (at times unintentionally) while having conversations with friends.

Twitter Memory ruins punch lines.
Ruins conversations.
Ruins friendship.
Ruins Lives.
October is TM awareness month. Spread the word!

#TM

"Yea bro, last night i ..."
"Stop. Last night you saw someone being robbed, beat up the robber- turned him in and got to meet Batman? I know. "
"Wow. Way to ruin the story!"
"My bad, my Twitter memory just kicked in on its own again. Damn it. I need help."

twitter memory by @bbajj October 7, 2013

Twitter 

A waste of life

Sir Alex Ferguson: "Twitter is a waste of life"

Twitter by twastes February 3, 2014

Twitter 

Where most girls find out their boyfriend is cheating

Where most girls stalk their crush/boyfriend

Girl 1: hey did you see Bob post a picture on twitter with Suzy on his lap?
Girl 2: oh god, Miley is going to flip!

Twitter by Thejanopig on twitter <3 February 17, 2014

twitter 

a useless site where people talk about how they do stuff all the time

"do people with no lives go on twitter?"
"most of people on twitter don't have lives, but some just barely go on there those who just do one thing on twitter only once probably has a life"

twitter by mknkn July 1, 2014

Twitter 

A place where weaklings can

a) ''Have their say'' for no one in their lives will listen to them
b) Feel closer to their idols (even though those idols couldn't give a rat's ass whether they live or die)

Cock womble: Log onto to twitter man!

Actual person: What?
Cock Womble: I wanna follow you.
Actual person:
Cock womble: Come on!!!
Actual person: I know people who listen to me and love me even when I talk shit. They're called friends. Not followers! Friends!!! And so I see no need to post my thoughts on a silly website where many people will just scroll up anyways subsequently making me feel like an insignificant spec on the horizon. FUCK YOU, YOUR TWITTER, AND EVERYONE IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD!!!
Cock womble: ...

Twitter by Zam89 January 21, 2015

Twittercide 

When you kill your career via stupid twitter comments.

Roseanne committed twittercide

Twittercide by One21jiggawatts August 6, 2018