Reverse Midas Touch

See 'Jackass Of All Trades.'

Somebody who is absolutely useless at any task.

Turns everything to crap.

Ask him to perform a task and he will make a substandard effort.

Tradie: "Hey boss, why did you fire T?"
Boss: "Because he was fucken useless, the Jackass of All Trades had a Reverse Midas Touch."
Tradie: "Whoa, fuck me dead and call me Mary, I guess the company was going into the shitter..."

by Schteeeeve March 6, 2022

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dick touching contest

A situation, act or struggle between two or more people which one or more parties do not wish to continue because it is stupid, pointless, or inane.

We used to hide each other's keys to make the other late, but it was a total dick touching contest, so I stopped doing it.

by thisispointless0 May 5, 2011

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Touch My Bumpkin

A saying used when wanting hands placed in and around your sweet booty.
Usually spoken in a high pitched porn voice

It is Ben's birthday today and as usual he is feeling rather amorous.
He sits alone in his house thinking about getting his thicc as fuck booty snacked on.
He begins to scream out at a frequency akin to a bats screech, "Touch my bumpkin! Touch my little bumpkin! Touch my sweaty little bumpkin!"
His repeated cries for an anal thrashing fall on deaf ears. Ben then shoves a quick fing in his bum and heads to bed. Goodnight Ben

by GozUnlimited April 1, 2020

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