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teching

Teching: To pretend you know what you are doing, when really all you do is restore the defaults, And send a Ping.

If all else fails, you can always do a trusted reboot.
My internet doesnt work. We need to do some teching... Restore the defaults. If that doesnt work, we dont support it.
by heather and james January 24, 2008
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tech tard

a person not intimately familiar with or that much cares about the lastest tech gadget or computer program available on the market
Him: I just got the latest iphone!

Her: Who cares, it'll be obsolete in 3 months. My cell doesn't even have a camera it's so old.

Me:Ha! Noob! My cell is so old it has a rotary dial. Beat that!

Him: You're such a tech tard.
by applz mccraken August 14, 2008
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Techgasm

when you're so fucking frustrated with windows that you're about to throw the fucking computer out the window, but just at that moment, it works, and you start having multiple orgasms
"YES, I MADE KAREL TURN RIGHT! MUAHAHAH TECHGASM!"
by smile:D September 9, 2009
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techies

WE R TEH MATRIX.
DO NOT MESS WITH U5.
WE WILL USURP YOUR KEYCARDS AND PRIVLEGGES.

WE R MSSRS. FOTI, LAFAYETTE, AND GRAHAM, AND OUR l337 SUNGLASSES WILL PWN ALL J00r Bo><3n.
The techies are a bunch of fags, and suck each others dicks all day while watching bukkake videos, while pulling $30,000 a year from CHS.
by Father Higgins August 12, 2003
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Tech

Tech a phrase which can be used in any contex.
TECH!; Tech no; I teched your mom; Tech you later; he Techxed me.
by Kian February 23, 2005
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Tech'd

I almost got tech'd at school today!
by Total Stranger May 4, 2007
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Tech 'em up

When an IT professional using an array of mediums to communicate, most commonly, conference calls or emails containing technical jargon a normal or intellectually inferior employee or client won’t understand.
Don’t be fooled by imitators, techups are delivered at the highest level of IT from only the highest level of engineers.
"Dude, he's a jabroni just tech 'em up!"

"Dude, the guys in that NOC are Busch league, just tech 'em up!"

"Dude, he doesn’t know shit- Tech his ass up"

"Dude, you should have heard them on the bridge, I started teching them up and their network guys went silent."

Tim asks:
"Mike, what should I tell this guy, we reloaded his router by accident"

Mike replies:
"Tim, just tech 'em up!"

Tim replies:
Tech 'em up!? How!?

Mike replies:
You know?! Just say a bunch of IT acronyms like BGP,OSPF,TCP IP,EIGRP spanning tree, STFU, I know more than you. You just been teched up now get the fukk out of here. Oh yeah, ISIS and pim sparse mode too.

The user will announce his compliance via spoken word or by nodding his head dismally and walk away with headache. Best thing about an old fashioned techup is the aforementioned user will never ask you a question again.

Tim:
Perfect, thanks Mike!

Mike:
NP
by K-Dog09 July 29, 2009
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