Jesus Handles

The handles inside a car by the seats that be hung on to when swerving around tight corners and yelling "JESUS!"

Alice hung on with all her might to the Jesus Handles and yelled the accompanying expression as Luke took a tight corner.

by Indigo Starr March 5, 2010

Jesus Troll

A person who sobers the mood of a post by tying the subject back to Jesus/God/Christianity. Can be completed with biblical quotes or an overall feeling of Christian guilt.

Steve: Check it out, I planked the water fountain!
Terry: That shit is so fucking stupid, man
John: We should all thank Him for having the full mobility of our bodies to be able to do such things. Some people don't have that luxury.
Steve: John, you're such a Jesus Troll.

by Jonnie Brasco July 11, 2011

Jesus Jenelle

1) a common phrase when you seen wit Kieffah
2) a phrase when Jenelle screws up and doesn't take care of her baby.
3) Said when change jar in thrown at Keiffah

"Jesus Jenelle I seen you with Kieffah"

" Have fun on the streets with your boyfrieeeeeeend"

"Jesus Jenelle that was my change jaaar, why did you do that?"

by makinithailondesehoes January 1, 2012

Jesus Crust

He is the son of Crust God. He was crucified for our memes and came back on the 3rd day to teach his diciples to spread the teachings Crust. Never touch his sock because if you do he will anally rape with a stick while screeching “REEEEEEEEEEE!”

I pray to thee, our lord Jesus Crust.

by Jesus Crust May 23, 2018

Jesus Party

A group of 12 people who were brought up as catholic/christian. They rebel the rules and are hard core atheists. They meet for a 'Jesus Party' Where they drink white wine and talk about the future dread. Once they're riled up; considering there's no crucifixes they just decide to have an orgy. (Jesus is the safe word)

OMG this orgy is so good, Ouch thats too big for my bum!! Jesus, Jesus!! Thank you for respecting my safe word and stopping. This is historically known as many different names and events, but this is the most fun. Look in in the mirror in the dark and say 'Jesus Party' 3 times then open your eyes and you will be at the event. You wont regret it.

by kxlee1234 January 11, 2021

Fire Jesus

Fire Jesus is essentially real Jesus with two major differences; the ability to shoot flames, and the psychotic tendency to burn Pagans. He will spend vast amounts of time simply hunting down and burning Pagans with flames that spurt from his palms.

Pagan: Man, I sure am ready for a long day of bettering my society as a whole followed by some naturalistic tree worship!

Fire Jesus: My ass you are! *shoots flames which instantly incinerate said Pagan"

by Chocolate Pudding Man September 16, 2011

The Jesus Prayer

The Jesus Prayer is an invocation largely used by the Eastern Christian Church, particularly the Eastern Orthodox Church. It is prayed as, "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner."

Neil recited the Jesus Prayer using his prayer beads.

by ohyeahpat August 1, 2012