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closet commando

Closet commando. Those who romanticize or mimic military or police forces, weaponry and gear, yet have no real working knowledge or experience regarding them.
A closet commando usually likes to dress the part in tactical or military gear to “cosplay” as a military/militia member
John boy likes to show over his AR-15 and dresses up in tactical gear at the gun range but he’s really just a closet commando
by Rook May 20, 2024
mugGet the closet commandomug.

Closet Drowning

When you are in the closet (talking about your sexuality) and you have been in there so long that you're drowning in all the cum from your countless masturbations because your too alone to have sex with anyone/anything else.
Person 1: Yo, Sam has got to come out the closet soon, everyone know it
Person 2: Yeah, at this rate he'll start closet drowning
by BlackJayd April 20, 2018
mugGet the Closet Drowningmug.

Closet Bedroom

When someone uses a bedroom as a closet!
Go clean your closet bedroom zhane.
by Jujubeanies1 May 4, 2025
mugGet the Closet Bedroommug.

Zoom Closet

It's way harder for LGBT people to be on Zoom without outing themselves! Your mom is like in the room.
Can you jump on this Zoom call with us later to plan the party?
Nah, I'm in the Zoom Closet!
by Tino Orbaega February 2, 2023
mugGet the Zoom Closetmug.

Moldy closet

Beeen a long day, I gotta hit the shower and clean out the moldy closet!
by CircleJ September 26, 2023
mugGet the Moldy closetmug.

Sweaty Closet

When a group of friends, usually 3+, get in a small closet and hotbox with pot.
"Hey bros, let's go hop in my Sweaty Closet!"
by Spoodes July 13, 2016
mugGet the Sweaty Closetmug.

Closet Monkey

That dude James keeps eyeing other dudes... he's such a closet Closet Monkey!
by Blegh the big Dicker October 10, 2022
mugGet the Closet Monkeymug.

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