hand dooker

Basically a hand job as used as a last resort or as barter or trade.
When she won't have sex with you or give your oral pleasure you could at least settle for a "hand dooker" not that great but at it's better than nothing usually preformed with no lube but not always. Hand dooker may also be used to bribe a friend.

Friend: What happened with you and Julie?

"She said no sex on the first date so I settled for a hand dooker instead

" I'll trade you a hand dooker for some of those cool ranch Doritos".

by DJBELLTOWER June 4, 2014

Flag

Get the hand dooker mug.

Hand Fertilizer

Alternative form of hand sanitizer, used when Hand Sanitizer is no longer available. Commonly found after jacking off or inside your mom's stomach.

Hospital Entrance Temperature Checker: Let me get your temperature. Here's a new mask and some hand sanitizer.
Person shortly self admitting to Psych. Ward: No thanks, I brought my own Hand Fertilizer. *Whips out dick* *Starts spanking it*
Hospital Entrance Temperature Checker: Oh deer God! Security!
Person shortly self admitting to Psych. Ward: Spiderman! *makes deer noises*

by Calypso Handjack December 19, 2020

Flag

Get the Hand Fertilizer mug.

Mechanical hands

A weird name for the concept of time. Created by the band "Tally Hall" and appeared on the song "Ruler of Everything"

"You understand mechanical hands
Are the ruler of everything"

by Hagoalgunosdibujos July 8, 2023

Flag

Get the Mechanical hands mug.

Hand dump

When you gotta go and there is a someone in the bathroom. And you can't leave one on the floor because you don't want to clean it out of the carpet. You have to take a dump in your hand and flush it when its your turn. Most often used in large crowds when you can get away to poop but still want to be polite or when its easier to warsh poop off your hands then the floor.

"They had new carpet and I had to shit...only choice was drop a hand dump. Easier to warsh your hands then shampoo the carpet ya know?"

by TheSausageKing June 12, 2021

Flag