by somebodyelsealtogether October 9, 2007
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Church is another word for a strip club.
by Cynthia August 27, 2003
Get the church mug.1. What happens when you go to Mass the day after Halloween and still can only think about candy. When you are receive the Holy Communion, and you are looking into the communion bowl, you will think to yourself, "Hmmm... I wonder if the Church's candy is any good?" Immediately, you will take not one, not two, but a handful of Church candy, stuff it in a plastic pumpkin, and run off into the sunset, never to be heard again.
2. What priests give little boys when trying to lure them in for a "special session".
2. What priests give little boys when trying to lure them in for a "special session".
Bob: "This Church candy is delicious!"
Jim: "..."
Jim: "That's the Holy Communion. The body of Jesus. NOT Church candy!"
Bob: "Still, it IS delicious..."
Priest: "Come here, Johnny. I have some... Church candy for you."
Johnny: "Ok, Reverend! I always trust people in big unmarked white vans!"
Jim: "..."
Jim: "That's the Holy Communion. The body of Jesus. NOT Church candy!"
Bob: "Still, it IS delicious..."
Priest: "Come here, Johnny. I have some... Church candy for you."
Johnny: "Ok, Reverend! I always trust people in big unmarked white vans!"
by HelloWorldDotExecutable November 7, 2012
Get the Church Candy mug.The church which sprang up in Rome during the time of Christ but not ordained by him.
In the 1300-1600's anyone who was not Catholic was murdered by these "Godly" people. Yup. Torture chambers, iron maidens, thumbscrews, anal pears, the whole bit. Not to mention beheading and burning at the stake.
The catholics DID NOT however, persecute atheists (surprise?)
Protestant religions, despite getting whacked out of existence as soon as the Catholics found out of their being, finally managed to prosper in the 1600's and eventually found their way to America. Then the Catholics showed up... *chop* *chop*
The Catholics also support homosexual activities. A "live as you please and then confess" lifestyle and such. You can sin all you want and confessing will make it legit.
When monks/priests and other "laymen" take a vow of celebacy, it is only in regards to women, children/young boys are not off limits.
In the 1300-1600's anyone who was not Catholic was murdered by these "Godly" people. Yup. Torture chambers, iron maidens, thumbscrews, anal pears, the whole bit. Not to mention beheading and burning at the stake.
The catholics DID NOT however, persecute atheists (surprise?)
Protestant religions, despite getting whacked out of existence as soon as the Catholics found out of their being, finally managed to prosper in the 1600's and eventually found their way to America. Then the Catholics showed up... *chop* *chop*
The Catholics also support homosexual activities. A "live as you please and then confess" lifestyle and such. You can sin all you want and confessing will make it legit.
When monks/priests and other "laymen" take a vow of celebacy, it is only in regards to women, children/young boys are not off limits.
"Man, those catholic schoolgirls look fine with their uniforms! You know she's a freak underneath it all!"
"Dude, you go out with a catholic girl? Your ass woulda been ashes for that not too many years ago. The catholic church doesn't like you infidels."
"So, how long has your little cousin been going to confession? Let's check his anus and see how loose it is, you catch him"
"Dude, you go out with a catholic girl? Your ass woulda been ashes for that not too many years ago. The catholic church doesn't like you infidels."
"So, how long has your little cousin been going to confession? Let's check his anus and see how loose it is, you catch him"
by Clinton Washington May 28, 2006
Get the catholic church mug.A girl who, regardless or how she dresses (although stereotypically characterized by preppy bitches), acts stuck up and snobbish.
Could also be male, although less so.
On occasion the word becomes overused by poser bitches who think it only means someone who dresses preppy or is popular.
Could also be male, although less so.
On occasion the word becomes overused by poser bitches who think it only means someone who dresses preppy or is popular.
by causte March 8, 2005
Get the Chauch mug.Church on Sundays is when you find a child getting his/hers baptism and you ejaculate in the holy water beforehand, them after the baptism you kill the baby and drink the blood/cum filled holy water and enjoy
by MCmotherfuckinLOVIN March 5, 2015
Get the church on sundays mug.