Traffic is backed up, I'm going to have to pesto someone real quick.
That dam cab driver just pesto'd me.
That dam cab driver just pesto'd me.
by BillyD78 March 5, 2019
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The Pescatuga Tales are known by only a few in this world, two to be exact. These tales are the collection of dozens of child rapes, committed by two notorious figures known as the Tortuga, and the Pescado. The compilation of the tales are named after the rapists themselves, and the name inspires fear in the youth-filled communities which were attacked. These attacks began in 2019. So who were they? Well, Tortuga and Pescado both lived similar lifestyles, each brought up with a furious hatred of the school system, specifically the Spanish branch of education. They first met late in 2018 when a ghastly Spanish teacher partnered them together to solve a treacherous problem that consisted of Spanish. From then on, they became friends, and bonded over wonderful music. Flash-forward two months; they have now became good friends and in a sudden turn of events, play a game of Clash Royale together, a vicious card game which involves the annihilation of towers to succeed, much like a upscaled 9/11. They fought together, and found that they were the perfect team; they demolished all opponents before them and lay waste to countless towers. Unconfirmed sources say that Pescado first said 'we raped those children' upon winning, in a nonchalant manner. But soon, they found that they both had a love for rape, especially child rape. After countless rapes of minors, they went on to bigger game, for the children on Clash Royale could not be raped to satisfaction. They moved on to Roblox.
Again, a violent game which too is populated by children. Pescado and Tortuga found their first victim on this game, and so the first chapter of the Pescatuga Tales truly begins.
Their first victim, an 8 year old by the name of Katie, was fishing in a pool, when Pescado and Tortuga first approached her. They engaged in small talk, and then in a flash, jumped upon Katie, viciously resizing her squirming body as she screamed for help. Katie was never seen again. After Katie, they moved on to other targets, which are explored in details in the other chapters of the Pescatuga Tales. In one instance, they raped the entire elementary graduation class of 2019, and those students had been resized so badly they could not urinate or excrete ever again for all life. It is very clear that the Tortuga is a much more fearsome warrior than the Pescado, and is without a doubt, a much better person in every aspect. Every aspect. The Duo themselves have found themselves to be much closer friends and have bonded terrifically over the committing of these rapes.
P.S: Pescado hopes that the Tortuga and he could rape children in Roblox this weekend.
Pescatuga Tales:
School Announcements: Please stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. However, before we go on, please give a minute of silence in remembrance of the Pescatuga child rape sprees of 2019.
Students: *Absolute silence aside from tears dropping and sniffles as they remember the rape experience. Several students break down, sobbing.*
Their first victim, an 8 year old by the name of Katie, was fishing in a pool, when Pescado and Tortuga first approached her. They engaged in small talk, and then in a flash, jumped upon Katie, viciously resizing her squirming body as she screamed for help. Katie was never seen again. After Katie, they moved on to other targets, which are explored in details in the other chapters of the Pescatuga Tales. In one instance, they raped the entire elementary graduation class of 2019, and those students had been resized so badly they could not urinate or excrete ever again for all life. It is very clear that the Tortuga is a much more fearsome warrior than the Pescado, and is without a doubt, a much better person in every aspect. Every aspect. The Duo themselves have found themselves to be much closer friends and have bonded terrifically over the committing of these rapes.
P.S: Pescado hopes that the Tortuga and he could rape children in Roblox this weekend.
Pescatuga Tales:
School Announcements: Please stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. However, before we go on, please give a minute of silence in remembrance of the Pescatuga child rape sprees of 2019.
Students: *Absolute silence aside from tears dropping and sniffles as they remember the rape experience. Several students break down, sobbing.*
by pescado_tortuga March 20, 2019
Get the Pescatuga Tales mug.by oikawalovespiss May 30, 2019
Get the Pescuma mug.Originally used as a food name, but now used as an insult. Calling that person a pest and a retard. Determining them as a disgrace by term.
guy1: i love being a disgrace around the street cuh
guy2: how so?
guy1: caus i love seekin attention and trouble cuh
guy2: You're a pestard.
guy2: how so?
guy1: caus i love seekin attention and trouble cuh
guy2: You're a pestard.
by FR34KY June 19, 2019
Get the PESTARD mug.Guy- The pest girl is gonna be at dinner, she might try and eat my food.
Guy's friend- Well, bring bug spray pal! If she can still breathe after you spray that shit on her, she will at least try and eat some other dude's dinner. Most people ignore her until she goes and eats some other dude's dinner. She does that with about five guys on a regular basis.
Guy's friend- Well, bring bug spray pal! If she can still breathe after you spray that shit on her, she will at least try and eat some other dude's dinner. Most people ignore her until she goes and eats some other dude's dinner. She does that with about five guys on a regular basis.
by Solid Mantis June 22, 2019
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