Closet Simp

Refers to an individual (usually a male) who is in a relationship with another individual (usually a female). This person is a huge simp but will do whatever it takes to hide that side of themself from everyone. Acts tough with a hardshell but deep down simps for their significant other.

"Jeff is such a hardo, buddy a straight cold hearted savage. Doesn't get pushed around ever by his girl"

*When alone with his girl, Jeff is a huge pushover closet simp*

by YungJazzers July 8, 2020

Cock Closet

A woman's vagina.

Damn, she has one snug cock closet or dang that thing is as big as my walk-in closet.

by Yanks01 January 5, 2009

Fancy Closet

It's usu. used as a joke insulting ones mother, usu. insinuating about their vagina in some way.

Guy: Your mom has a fancy closet, the fanciest EVER!
Girl: WTF IS THAT?!!1
Guy: If I told you you'd trolololol
Girl: ZOMG FUUUUUU

by Fiendmummy September 23, 2011

the cunnigham close

Screwing a customer both professionally and physically.

So what we'll need to do is get your paystubs, W2's, credit card information, and you in the missionary position.

by parkay September 24, 2004

A so close.

when someone takes a picture of a beautiful male or female were there pretty much naked but there covered by a small artical of clothing or another non-sexual body part. not consistent with.
-1another persons mouth.

"man she was wearing nothing but her belt covered her couchie."
"dude what A so close."

by collin foster October 1, 2007

to do a close

Doing a close is the action of going out at night to a party and one does not succeed in the girls category. As a result, the close will drink away his regrets and mope about asking himself about all the various possibilities as to why he had not succeeded. After much self-deliberation, he will conclude that it's his looks or his intellectual ability. After beating himself up, he will shit himself and go to hospital, waking up stark naked wishing that one day he will be able to overtake his friends and younger brother in succeedinng with the opposite sex.

Maisy: I just parred Jack!
Pippa: Me too, I'm scared he is going to do a close.
Maisy: He's already depressed.
Pippa: just wait until the poo comes.

by RobYourNob June 20, 2011

Jim the closet demon

Jim the Closet Demon is the expired soul that was split into two and now lives in an inter dimensional state within all closets. Jim is non binary and uses he/they pronouns. Jim is insecure about his abnormally small hands and will be offended when you mention them near him. It is belived by some (the underground colonies) that Jim the closet demon is in love with the Turtle Queen. Many supporters of Jim the Closet Demon worship him. Jim appreciate sacrifices, especially children and will be kind to those who are kind to him.

Person one: why is there a small handprint in my closet?

Person two: it was Jim the Closet Demon, and don’t insult their small hands.

by Turtle in a box August 31, 2022