Polishing the spear

To wank off and make your spear "Shine"
AKA Wacking off
Masturbating
And SLAPPING THE SHALOM

Isaac B "Jonah WTF are u doing1111!"
Jonah B "Im playing skyrim and polishing the spear!"

by chodechopper October 16, 2014

Polishing the gnome

Masturbating in the garden!

I was just out watering the roses and polishing the gnome

by Green Fingered December 24, 2014

polishing the one eyed gopher

To masterbate while driving

You cannot imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice while polishing the one eyed gopher when you're doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler

by Ninety2iamsam June 20, 2006

Polishing the Canoe

The act of female masturbation.

Shawna became overwhelmed by her fantasies of Rick and began polishing the canoe furiously.

by ricktheaddj October 8, 2009

Polishing The Pewter

Another one of the countless names for masturbating. Derived from the movie "Almost Heroes" staring Chris Farley (RIP), in which him Matthew Perry portary Lewis and Clark. However, one should note that in the movie the phrase is not used to describe masturbation, but the various acts of sex. Over time the phrase has changed meaning.

10 bucks says he Polishes The Pewter thinking of that night those chicks picked HIM up.

by Cambone September 8, 2005

Polishing the Cannonball

Wasting time on a task that does not add value; making irrelevant improvements. Usually work related.

You're spending a lot of time on getting that power point presentation looking nice. It's really polishing the cannonball.

by roccoSD August 22, 2007

polishing the banister

1. Masturbating
2. A boring house chore

(1) I caught a beaver polishing the banister last night.
(2) My mom made me polish the banister.

by Izaak June 26, 2008