cold lotion

Coined by comedian Bill Burr and his girlfriend Nia Hill (aka the "Lovely Nia") and shared with his legions of fans via the Monday Morning Podcast.

Refers to something that should be good but ends up being bad. Originated when Bill was about to give Nia a back massage (good) but didn't rub his hands to warm up the lotion which resulted in Nia getting shocked by the sensation his cold freckle-marked hands on her warm skin (bad). Should be said like an African American pimp stereotype from the 1970s.

Person one - "I got a raise a few weeks ago and finally got my pay check. Turns out I was bumped into a higher tax bracket and I now net less than before."

Person two - "Shiiiiiiit bro, that be some cold lotion!"

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Person one - "I finally got a date with Margret. Afterwards we went back to my place to fuck but when I took off her shirt she had the worst banana tits ever. I couldn't get it up."

Person two - "Ooooooo that is some cold lotion son!"

by HabsRule June 10, 2013

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Cold-Pop

Any soda from a vending machine, or ice chest, which is chilled to perfection and very satisfying at 3:30 in the morning when you wake to the smell of neighbors barbecuing at your apartment complex, only to find that "Oh, Lord Jesus - It's a fire", and you have to run for your life, forgetting your shoes and everything, Jesus. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Sweet Brown: I woke up to go get me a cold-pop, and I thought somebody was barbecuing. I said "Oh Lord Jesus, it's a fire!" and I ran, I didn't grab no shoes or nothin', Jesus... I ran for my life! Then the smoke got me! I got bronchitis! Ain't nobody got time for that!!!

by Cold Pop McGee June 19, 2013

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