paradox cramp

In human males, the intellectual or emotional stabbing pain created by the seemingly irreconcilable contradictions in human female statements, behaviour, responses or expectations. Paradox cramps are usually but not exclusively experienced in heterosexual romantic relationship interdynamics.

Human Female: “Of course I wanted to talk to you. That’s why you shouldn’t have called me.” or “Yes, I know I told you to do it, and you did it right away. That’s why I am angry at you.”
Human male: “Understood. Apropos of nothing at all, where do you keep your Tylenol 3s / bourbon?”
Scientist: "Thus we see a paradox cramp, inducing standard response behaviour."

by Seeker6079 September 16, 2005

paradoxical subtlety

n. an attempt to show-off something, yet tries to make it look as though they are not doing so; a purposely feeble and obvious attempt at modesty in order to flaunt one's advantages over another without looking cocky.
adj. paradoxically subtle.

Ex. 1
Alex: Oh you have that class too? Wasn't that test hard?
Marvin: Yeah.
Alex: Yeah, I know huh? I only got an A-.
Marvin: No one asked you. You know, your paradoxical subtlety is really annoying.

Ex. 2
Dave: Someone's iPod earphones just latched onto my backpack on my way to class.
Anthony: Oh really? Those earphones are probably better than the ones that came with my new mp3 player. *takes out mp3 player and shows it off*

by supernintendo_chalmers February 22, 2006

Paradox Duplicate

A duplicate created as a result of time travel. When one object travels to another time where that same object also exists, then two of the exact same object occupy the same time. The popular theory is that one of the paradox duplicates is doomed to destruction as a result of the universe attempting to correct this violation of the reality matrix of existence. More pressing is the belief that, were the duplicates to come in contact with one another, it would violate the very basic law of physics that 'no two objects can occupy the same space at the same time', and, thus, unmake the universe.

"That's why i didn't want us to meet, Fry. We're paradox duplicates. The more we stayed away from each other, the better chance we had of staying alive. I guess I was wrong...(cough)"
-Futurama: Bender's Big Score

by Razorglove January 26, 2010

Plankton Paradox

One who makes overly complex schemes while unable to do the bare minimum tasks in life

Look at this guy going through a plankton paradox, he wants to take over the world yet can barely do the dishes by himself!

by Hurble lurble durble March 30, 2020

Feeling paradox

It is when a person feels he should do something, yet he wants to do the opposite. Or when his body is telling him to do something, but he doesn't want to obey it. Examples when you are hungry or thirsty even though you are full. or when you are dead tired, yet you don't feel like sleeping.

Man 1: Woooa, i am really tired
Man 2: Why don't you go to sleep
Man 1: I don't feel like it
Man 2: Dude, you are having a feeling paradox

by Slvador Limonis August 10, 2012

Orphan's Paradox

A child who's raised without nurturing love will behave aggressively towards others to the point of pushing away those who could give love to that child, thereby keeping the child in an unloving environment.

As an orphan I acted out because I wanted a family. No family would adopt me because I acted out. I was trapped in the orphan's paradox.

by SnoogerWookie September 25, 2010

Bootstrap Paradox

The Bootstrap Paradox is a theoretical paradox of time travel that occurs when an object or piece of information sent back in time becomes trapped within an infinite cause-effect loop in which the item no longer has a discernible point of origin, and is said to be “uncaused” or “self-created”.

A time traveller who was a big fan of Beethoven goes back in time to 18th century Germany to search for Beethoven for an autograph. Upon reaching the destination, the time traveller cannot find Beethoven anywhere, not even Beethoven's family have heard of him. Not being able to bear the thought of a world without Beethoven's music, the time traveller coincidently has all of Beethoven's sheet music, he copies it up and publishes it. The time traveller has become Beethoven and the timeline resumes as usual, this is what we call a Bootstrap Paradox.

by Driptual November 17, 2019