jesus

Son of God who died to save mankind from their sins. rose again and ascended to heaven to sit at the right hand of the Father.
by davy April 04, 2005
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Jesus

A nice guy who taught love, kindness, tolerance, etc. Sacrificed himself because we're all giant penises. Now people claim to follow his teachings, but just screw them over.
Oh look, there's Jesus over there! The world's gonna end.
by Poop N Scoop July 06, 2005
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Jesus

JESUS TAKE THE WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL
"OH MY GOD, IS THAT JESUS?
"YES MY SON, NOW BEND OVER"
by CODELAZARRRRRRRRRRRRRR April 15, 2019
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jesus

Jesus of Nazareth, also known as Christ

The greatest, purest, wisest, and nicest liberal to ever live.
If George W. Bush is the greatest conservative ever, and Jesus the greatest liberal. I guess that makes George W. Bush the anti-christ.
by independent July 24, 2005
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Jesus

The guy, whom most Christian girls are overjesused about.
Sandra: I love Jesus SOOO much. He is my friend!

Kate: Yes, so is mine! I really love Jesus.

Tom: You should probably find some REAL friends, gals...

Kate & Sandra: -______-
by Xfing May 27, 2009
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The Jesus

"Nobody fucks with The Jesus!" - The Jesus
by shnoogins07 December 15, 2008
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Jesus

Probably was a really top bloke who lived 2000 years ago. On the level, talked sense, encouraged everyone just to get along with each other.
Murdered by the authorities who saw him as a threat.
Now worshipped as the son of God.
Closest modern day comparisons would be John Lennon or Martin Luther King (both also murdered).
"Jesus was a black man
No Jesus was Batman"

Shaun Ryder - 1995
by Manx Bloke June 15, 2007
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