When Chuck Norris Wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken
The Leading Causes of death in USA are: 1. Cancer 2. Heart Disease and 3. Chuck Norris
Guns Dont kill people, Chuck Norris Does
The Leading Causes of death in USA are: 1. Cancer 2. Heart Disease and 3. Chuck Norris
Guns Dont kill people, Chuck Norris Does
by the stead, November 23, 2007
Chuck Norris lives on a floating volcano with American Bald Eagles flying around it.
Iraq has no weapons of mass destruction, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
No matter what your mother said, Chuck Norris can tune a fish.
There is no such thing as global warming, Chuck Norris got cold and turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris eats rocks and shits lightning.
Chuck Norris can watch 60-Minutes in 10 minutes.
Will Chamberlain claims to have slept with over 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this a slow-Tuesday
Sticks and stones may break your bones but a Chuck Norris-glare can make you shit yourself.
Some scientists believe a meteor killed all the dinosaurs. That's true of you want to call Chuck Norris a meteor.
Chuck Norris loves America. He hates communists. Once he heard a guy was executed for treason, treason is the most un-American thing Chuck Norris has ever heard so he killed himself, went to Hell, ripped the guys face off and uses his face as a loin cloth to this day. He then resurrected himself and slept peacefully.
Chuck Norris is so American that when he gets interrupted during sex, he gets red, white, and blue balls.
Iraq has no weapons of mass destruction, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
No matter what your mother said, Chuck Norris can tune a fish.
There is no such thing as global warming, Chuck Norris got cold and turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris eats rocks and shits lightning.
Chuck Norris can watch 60-Minutes in 10 minutes.
Will Chamberlain claims to have slept with over 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this a slow-Tuesday
Sticks and stones may break your bones but a Chuck Norris-glare can make you shit yourself.
Some scientists believe a meteor killed all the dinosaurs. That's true of you want to call Chuck Norris a meteor.
Chuck Norris loves America. He hates communists. Once he heard a guy was executed for treason, treason is the most un-American thing Chuck Norris has ever heard so he killed himself, went to Hell, ripped the guys face off and uses his face as a loin cloth to this day. He then resurrected himself and slept peacefully.
Chuck Norris is so American that when he gets interrupted during sex, he gets red, white, and blue balls.
by Legally Insane April 28, 2008
Do not fuck with chuck norris, or you will get roundhouse kicked in the face faster than you can say nothing.
by J.Hybrid December 2, 2007
by HarT [<3] January 19, 2006
an awesome, kickass, bad mothafucka. Some facts:
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters. And when I say knit, I mean kick. And when I say sweaters, I mean babies.
Before the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks in his closet and under his bed for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is 10 feet tall, weighs 2 tons, breathes fire, could eat a hammer, and can take a shotgun blast standing.
There is no creationism. There is no evolution. There are only the species that Chuck Norris has allowed to survive.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparallelled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was complete, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and stole his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, admits he should have seen it coming and couldn't stay mad for long. The now play poker every tuesday.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. That has nothing do do with his ancestry. The man ate a whole indian.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters. And when I say knit, I mean kick. And when I say sweaters, I mean babies.
Before the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks in his closet and under his bed for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is 10 feet tall, weighs 2 tons, breathes fire, could eat a hammer, and can take a shotgun blast standing.
There is no creationism. There is no evolution. There are only the species that Chuck Norris has allowed to survive.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparallelled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was complete, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and stole his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, admits he should have seen it coming and couldn't stay mad for long. The now play poker every tuesday.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. That has nothing do do with his ancestry. The man ate a whole indian.
by Johnnywinters February 26, 2006
chuck norris's penis is a fist
chuck norris does not communicate via cellphones, the sheer sound of his voice would penetrate your ear faster than his roundhouse abilities to your face...and you would be instantly deaf. Instead, chuck norris trains owls to carry letters across the world like in Harry Potter. These owls are trained in his backyard.
One day during a training session at norris academy, an owl shit on norris as he was flying overhead, Norris teleported into the air beside the owl, looked him in the eye, and the bird exploded in mid flight. From that day on, Norris's owls know not to fuck around.
chuck norris flexes so fast, that you can hear the sound of a whip being cracked from miles away. This is because he is awesome and no science can prove this theory wrong.
When chuck norris has an orgasm, a thunderstorm instantly occurs in the Latin America.
Chuck norris does not speak to animals, he looks at them, and they either explode or implode, given their surroundings.
Chuck norris once won a long jump competition reaching 157 Meteres running with his eyes closed. Later that day he thought he'd go for a second gold medal and entered in the pole vaulting competition. He won by 396 Meters, catapolting with his penis instead of a pole, because as you know, chuck norris member is a FIST, A MIGHTY STRONG FIST.
chuck norris does not communicate via cellphones, the sheer sound of his voice would penetrate your ear faster than his roundhouse abilities to your face...and you would be instantly deaf. Instead, chuck norris trains owls to carry letters across the world like in Harry Potter. These owls are trained in his backyard.
One day during a training session at norris academy, an owl shit on norris as he was flying overhead, Norris teleported into the air beside the owl, looked him in the eye, and the bird exploded in mid flight. From that day on, Norris's owls know not to fuck around.
chuck norris flexes so fast, that you can hear the sound of a whip being cracked from miles away. This is because he is awesome and no science can prove this theory wrong.
When chuck norris has an orgasm, a thunderstorm instantly occurs in the Latin America.
Chuck norris does not speak to animals, he looks at them, and they either explode or implode, given their surroundings.
Chuck norris once won a long jump competition reaching 157 Meteres running with his eyes closed. Later that day he thought he'd go for a second gold medal and entered in the pole vaulting competition. He won by 396 Meters, catapolting with his penis instead of a pole, because as you know, chuck norris member is a FIST, A MIGHTY STRONG FIST.
by crazy cracker99 February 9, 2010
by Dr. Seusss March 28, 2008