Hoboken Squat Cobbler

Someone who takes videos of himself squatting naked on a pie, preferably of the cream type variety, and masturbating much to the delight of his intended viewer.

He's in the other room making a video with a pie. He's a Hoboken Squat Cobbler.

by Yankwood August 29, 2016

squat cobbler

An act, normally performed on video, intended to titillate the senses. This act is technically a fetish, but (and this is important) it is NOT ILLEGAL! Squat Cobbler involves a fully clothed man, all by himself, who sits in a pie and wiggles around. The more extreme varieties of this lewd act is known as "Cry Baby Squat Cobbler", or "Cry Baby Squat" for short, which involves tears. Usually, the more tears, the more taboo it is considered to be, and to a certain audience, more desirable.

The term originates from the eastern United States where it is commonly called "Hoboken Squat Cobbler" and, like Hellman's Mayonnaise, is called something different west of the Rocky Mountains.

In the midwest it is simply referred to as "pie sitting"

See also full moon moon pie boston crème splat simple simon the ass man dutch apple ass pie sitting Hoboken squat cobbler

Jeff came over and was paid handsomely to perform the Hoboken squat cobbler into a still hot dutch apple pie.

The man does a mean and quite sexy squat cobbler. There are tears, and lots of wriggling! He even wears a batman costume!

by pseudonymnonominon July 29, 2016

squat cobbler

When a person, fully clothed mind you, sits on a pie and wiggles their ass around in it.

Dan's tears salted the lightly toasted meringue as he prepared to lower his buttocks for his first squat cobbler.

by toiletjocky August 30, 2016

squat cobbler

When one squats to rub his bottom in an actually pie

that squat cobbler cream pied his own ass, literally.

by Zowi320 September 3, 2016

squat cobbler

The act of sitting in a pie (whilst clothed or unclothed) in a manner to arouse or stimulate pleasure.
(first seen in Better Call Saul)

James: Man, Dan is a pretty good Squat Cobbler, but sometimes he cries when he does it.

by AttackOnPoke July 27, 2016

hoboken squat cobbler

A fetish involving watching someone sitting their posterior into a pie (preferably apple or pumpkin, but this is up to the fetishist) and wiggling said buttocks around in the aforementioned dessert

Jimmy: Yo, did you catch that Hoboken Squat Cobbler video on the Tube?

Chuck: Yeah man, got me rock hard

by cellophanefriend September 3, 2016

squat cobbler

process of planting ones ass on a pie for sexual release

Andrew is a squat cobbler, it gets him off.

by The Glinch September 3, 2016