Jehovah's Witnesses 

Crazy fools who suck all the joy from life and will try to sneak in under the radar and do the same to you.

Me: Hey, can I have a random wheel barrel of fruit and vegetables too?
JW:No! You're Methodist and an impure demon!

Jehovah's Witnesses by Kruger December 31, 2004

Jehovah's Witness 

The only faith that adheres to bible truths and tries their best to live the way Jesus Christ taught them. Jesus regularly went door to door, teaching others about God and making disciples, baptizing them. JWs also are the only faith to regularly use God's name, which is a command in the bible. Some of you people really need to do some research before you post in here. For example, rule numer one:

"1. Write for a large audience. The whole world's going to read your definition. Give background information so they understand your entry."

Why don't you people try reading the bible once in a while? You might learn something. Oh, the early members of the religion NEVER conspired with Hitler against the Jews. Who came up with that lie? Jehovah's Witnesses were persecuted and put in concentrations camps along with the Jews, even killed in the gas chambers.

Good Grief!!! Blood transfusions? How many people do YOU know contracted AIDS from tainted blood? Remember the pope??? Chagas Disease??? The bible is very clear on Gods view of the sanctity of blood. "Abstain from blood..." Please look up the word "abstain."

Those who are scorned and put out of the congregation have a lifetime of chances to return. Most who don't just don't want to live their lives morally and in accord with bible principles. It's their loss. Remember, when the catholics excommunicate, it's for life.

Jehovah's Witness by MommyMe April 13, 2006

Jehovah's Witnesses 

Jehovah's Witnesses are irritating god botherers

Jehovah's Witnesses: god! god! listen to me god! oi god!

god: oh piss off and help an old lady across the road or something!

Jehovah's Witnesses by sniper_productions December 28, 2005

Jehovah's Bystander 

Some one who witnesses nothing.

Victim: Did you see that?
Jehovah's Bystander: No, I witnessed fuck all.

Jehovah's Bystander by Thrasher1504 November 14, 2006

Jehovah's Witnesses 

A religion with over 8 million members all over the world. They come from hundreds of ethnic and language backgrounds, yet are united by common goals. Above all, they want to honor Jehovah, the God of the Bible and the Creator of all things. They do their best to imitate Jesus Christ and are proud to be called Christians. Each of them regularly spend time helping people learn about the Bible and God’s Kingdom. Because they witness, or talk, about Jehovah God and his Kingdom, they are known as Jehovah’s Witnesses.

They are one of the few religions to go door to door in order to preach. Despite common misconceptions, they are not a cult, and do not force anyone to join their religion. They are honest, respectful, peaceful people.

They have an official website: jw.org. Any other website not linked to on the official site cannot be considered a valid source of information regarding Jehovah's Witnesses, as they tend to have biased opinions disguised as facts about JWs.

Person 1: What religion are you?
Person 2: I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses.

Jehovah's Witnesses by Kensurou May 6, 2017

Jehovah's Witnesses 

A Christian religion often called a cult. They are well known for their frequent missionary visits, wherein they knock on your door, armed with pamphlets and magazines. They should not be confused with Mormon missionaries; a distinct difference is that Jehovah's Witnesses will try to tell you that your religion is wrong using their analytical facts.

JW Missionary: So what religion do you belong to?
Me: I'm a Mormon.
JW Missionary: Well, your Book of Mormon contradicts the Bible!
Me: How so?
JW Missionary: Well, we don't have any of them with us right now...

Jehovah's Witnesses by Deoxyribose August 4, 2005

jehovah's witnesses 

IT IS the desire of Jehovah's Witnesses that you become better acquainted with them. You may have met them as neighbors and fellow employees or in other daily affairs of life. You may have seen them on the street, offering their magazines to passersby. Or you may have spoken briefly with them at your door.

Actually, Jehovah's Witnesses are interested in you and your welfare. They want to be your friends and to tell you more about themselves, their beliefs, their organization, and how they feel about people and the world in which all of us live. To accomplish this, they have prepared this brochure for you.

Person: Look the true religion is coming!
Jehovah's Witnesses: Would you like to learn God's ways!
Person: Yes! You guys are not false and awkward like the Mormons but you base all your beliefs on the bible and don't create things like other religions. I was a Mormon and they are weird!

jehovah's witnesses by amaziusdbddss June 23, 2010