Bruised the toilet

To leave a brown streaky skid mark on the bottom of the toilet that is so caked on after taking a poo that the water from flushing won't remove it.

Husband: I'm going to head downstairs and take a deucer.
Wife: Sounds good.
--Wait 15 minutes --
Husband: Do we have a toilet brush somewhere I just bruised the toilet.

by lewdog07 February 18, 2010

Boner bruise

A bruise on the inner thigh caused by a rapidly expanding erection whereby the tip of the penis impacts forcibly into the leg.

Damn that girl Audrey is so hot every time I see her i get a boner bruise.

by Blackcox44859 September 6, 2013

Douche-bruise

Noun: Injury sustained from excessive douche exposure

Adjective: The quality of being massively douchey

"I ended up talking for a half hour to some guy with too much hair gel and a screen-printed dress shirt. I have a nasty douche-bruise."

"David? Total Douchebruise."

by IDidItFirst! October 16, 2011

Dirty bruise

Bruises that occur with rough, wild sex. Grabbing, pulling, bighting (nibbling), ECT.

Baby I'm feeling frisky, I want to wake up with "dirty bruises"!

I want it so rough that I have "dirty bruises"!

by TiGhT*wOuNd&HeLlbOuNd February 22, 2020

Thigh Bruise

The bruises you get on your face when you go down on a woman and give her such a powerful orgasm she squeezes your face with her inner thighs like it's in a vice. The bruises you get are thigh bruises.

Jeff ate at the Y so well, he got thigh bruises.

by Poodleusier June 24, 2004

Mushroom bruise

The purple or pink hematoma left by Clint Eastgoode's cock hitting your cheek.

That hit Sandy received last night left a sah-weet mushroom bruise!

by JeepGurl November 3, 2010

taint bruise

when riding ones bike and the seat hits ones taint, the area between the genitals and asshole, resulting in a bruise.

Rhonda was riding her bike today and had to go the doctor because she got a taint bruise.

by mustlovedogs1122 January 5, 2012