Closet Beta Male

Someone who outwardly pretends to be a Chad and a Alpha male hating on women's rights and those that respect wamen. Normally below 5'6, extremely hairy and have names that rhyme with Pevin.

Wow that Kevin guy is a real closet Beta Male. What a cuck.

by JueGamlepoo May 7, 2021

Closet Jerk

Someone who acts generous during their hours on a work shift. However, they don’t act very civil during their own time outside of their occupation.

“Wow! I noticed Kyle dosen’t seem nice most of the time. But, when he is a work. He behaves well, & is very friendly. He definitely is a “Closet Jerk”

by Trippyness211 May 8, 2021

closet teen

A person - especially male - who is beyond their teen/college years in age yet still has the mindset and interests of a teenager, but who must pass themselves off as a mature, responsible person in order to fit into society.

The reason weed and boobs have the most slang terms for them is because the people who mostly come up with slang terms are teenage boys and closet teens.

by insideout1 December 12, 2012

closet candy crusher

One who secretly smokes methamphetamine out of hookers buttholes using a special ass bong device. It is like a normal bong except that the bottom is open, allowing the water chamber to be the rectum of said hooker.

Bro: "Yo man I heard Randy is a closet candy crusher. Dude smokes ice out of skank booty."

Bro2: "Damn, I knew I shouldn't have let him borrow my assbong. Oh well YOLO!"

Bro: "Nasty mang, you probably got mouth herpes now."

by the mysterious j September 7, 2013

Closet shower

When two people partake in the act to play house and get naked and get in the closet and act like they are taking a shower. Lesbians may try to talk you into this.

A) shavelle, wanna play closet shower?

B) I haven't had a good closet shower in awhile.

by Ford Davis November 26, 2011

closet bromosexual

Any person who is in the process of becoming a bro by completing bro trials or other equal feats to achieve the title of "bro". I.e, someone who wants to be a bro but is incapable at the moment. These people might be:

1. Nerds
2. Girls
3. People over the age of 27

Bro 1: Bro, that nerd is starting to bulk up.

Bro 2: Yeah man, I think I saw him at the gym the other. With out his books!

Bro 1: Dude, he's totes a closet bromosexual.

Bro 1: Dude my friend Emily is totes one of the guys, she even hooked me up with her hot friend!

Bro 2: Nice bro, that's one of the biggest bro trials to complete. She is such a closet bromosexual!

by AkRaptorJesus November 27, 2011

desktop closet stuffing

After noticing how much junk you have on your computer desktop, you create a new folder on the desktop and dump all your junk in it. You repeat this many times, dumping junk into folders and folders into other folders until one day when you're cleaning old junk off of your computer, you open up the folder on your desktop and are assaulted by the onslaught of never-ending junk and folders, creating a result similar to opening up a closet one of your ex's has stuffed with mountains of junk they said they cleaned up and having it all fall on you.

Bob didn't really feel like sorting through all the old porn on his desktop so he did a little desktop closet stuffing and dumped it all into one big folder.

by JohnJJS January 3, 2012