Computer Jizz

Another, more vulgar, word for thermal paste, the paste that you put on your cpu when building a PC

Person 1: I bought same day delivery for my thermal paste but still haven't recieved it after 2 days

Person 2: I'm suing Amazon - Give Person 1 her computer jizz!

by Alou_Online June 15, 2022

digital computing

A computation done by a machine through the use of electrical energy and radio waves to connect and complete corresponding tasks.

Multiplayer games require internet connection to complete the digital computing of projecting other players.

by 1m1m0 September 5, 2022

Relativistic Computing

The art of exploiting the freaky time and space distortions predicted by Einstein's Special Relativity to make computers do wild shit. The core idea: if you move a processor or memory at a significant fraction of light speed relative to another part of the system, time literally slows down for the fast-moving part (time dilation). This could let you perform ultra-fast calculations from a slower-moving observer's perspective or solve problems where synchronization is fucked by relativity.

Example: Imagine a financial trading AI hosted on a satellite in a super-fast orbit. From Earth's perspective, its clock ticks slower. It could run millions more simulated market scenarios in what feels like a blink of an eye down here, executing trades before its earthbound competitors even finish booting up. Alternatively, a "relativistic blockchain" where consensus is achieved by comparing timestamps from nodes moving at different velocities, making it unhackable unless you can mess with the fabric of spacetime itself. It's Relativistic Computing.

by Abzugal January 24, 2026

Spacetime Computing

A next-level concept beyond relativistic computing that uses the gravitational aspects of Einstein's General Relativity for information processing. The idea is to exploit the warping of spacetime itself—like using the gravity wells of black holes or the stretched fabric around massive objects—to perform calculations. Think of it as using the universe's geometry as a computational substrate. Time dilation isn't from speed, but from gravity.

Example: A "black hole server farm." You lower a sealed compute pod toward the event horizon of a small, artificial black hole. From the perspective of distant operators, time for the pod grinds almost to a halt due to intense gravity. The pod performs an impossibly complex calculation (like modeling climate over millennia) in what feels like a few hours of external time. You then retrieve it, having effectively performed vast amounts of computation in a short external timeframe. It's the ultimate overclocking—using gravity to freeze a processor's clock so it can do more ticks relative to the outside world. It's Spacetime Computing.

by Abzugal January 24, 2026

Noetherian Computing

A paradigm where computational processes are explicitly designed around Noether's Theorem—the profound principle that every continuous symmetry in a physical system corresponds to a conserved quantity (like energy, momentum, or charge). In Noetherian Computing, you don't just calculate; you architect computations as symmetry operations, guaranteeing that certain values are perfectly preserved throughout the process. This makes computations inherently stable, error-proof for specific tasks, and deeply connected to the physics of the hardware.

Example: Building a financial ledger system for a space colony. Instead of a traditional database, you design it as a Rotational Symmetry Engine. Every transaction is encoded as a tiny rotation in an abstract space. Noether's Theorem guarantees the total "angular momentum" of the system (the absolute balance of the ledger) is conserved no matter how many transactions occur. Any attempt to hack or alter a transaction would break the symmetry and be instantly detected as a violation of conservation—the math simply wouldn't close. It's unhackable because it's woven into the fabric of physics. Noetherian Computing.

by Dumuabzu January 24, 2026