wankerdoodle 

An erect penis that won't get any loving. So a guy has to 'Wank' off his 'Doodle'.

Laid in bed alone after a massive erection late at night, 'So I had to take care of my Wankerdoodle myself '.

wankerdoodle by AppleApfelNomNom February 23, 2017

secret wanker 

1. A person who was born in America but attempts to blend into another country's society by adopting their customs and accent in speech.

2. One who masturbates in private.

Joe: So did ya know that Jack's a secret wanker?

Stephanie: Look, what a person does in his own home is no business of mine.

secret wanker by ppomg April 4, 2009

gym wanker

a) A person who makes loud sounds in the gym it is almost animalistically homosexual

b) A person who goes to the gym often and believes he is socially superior to others when he is pompous

Mr Gibbons is such a gym wanker

gym wanker by Fuh-Keface69 December 1, 2011

airport wanker

An airport wanker will drag around his/her over-sized wheely bag in complete disregard for others even if they are ascending an escalator (you wouldn't see them going up a flight of stairs). Without looking up from their latest iPhone 6, they mope around the terminal appearing to have some sort of place they need to get to in a hurry i.e. A Starbucks skinny late. At security they wait until one of the staff asks them whether or not they've got any toiletries, laptops, or tablets when finally they start rummaging through their excessive bags to get them. "Have you got a belt?"...."Oh yes I do". Eventually, when they've got through security, they get so carried away with browsing in Ralph Lauren perfume shops that they end up late for their flight, holding up everyone else once again. If they make it to the plane they then have to manipulate their hand luggage into the overhead lockers and end up requiring cabin crew assistance. There's always that one unlucky passenger who has to be seated next to them and hear the never-ending tapping on their stupid iPad as they play 'Candy Crush'. You'll know when you see an airport wanker as you'll find yourself thinking: 'what fucked-up psycho God would create these people.'

"OMG did you see that airport wanker. He spent two hours in the Hugo Boss shop drinking a skinny latte with his wheely bag blocking everything."

airport wanker by Wolverhampton rules May 11, 2015

Book wanker

A term used by persons who are refreshingly unspoiled by conventional education to describe literate individuals.

Beggar approaches person reading book On a public bench.

Beggar: Can you spare any change so I can buy some food.
Book Wanker: Here’s a sandwich and a public transport ticket
Beggar: How am I supposed to buy heroin with that, you Book Wanker?

In this case the illiterate beggar used the only insult he had in his very short lexicon.

Book wanker by Snootypants June 5, 2019

Potfaced Wanker

Someone who does the same thing over and over again, even though you and everyone else around you absolutely hates it.

David is a potfaced wanker, who wouldn’t be able to do anything even if it was handed to him

Potfaced Wanker by GuyFawkes’Child July 14, 2019

Dick wanker ballsack depression 

Jake Paul

It’s a wild dick wanker Ballsack depression

Dick wanker ballsack depression by Animegirl69 July 18, 2020