Jesus Brace

n. Colloquial, Possibly Australian

See also oh shit bar

Found in automobiles, but appear to serve no purpose other than
a) assisting corpulent persons and/or people to alight the vehicle
b) grabbing on to in times of a potential accident to brace oneself, i.e driver exceeding the speed limit

So called for one of two reasons
i) person grabbing the 'brace' praying to their respective deity to avoid the accident, being an english term this is most likely to be a christian, hence use of 'Jesus'
ii) person audibly exclaiming 'Jesus!'in the same situation as above

In absence of a bar, may also be referred to as a 'Jesus Strap'

Jim clutched the Jesus Brace as his brother went drifting through the mountains Initial D style

by andrewfx51 April 3, 2009

Jesus Powers

noun, at least I think so. could be a noun, could be an adjective, who gives a shit. parts of speech are lame anyway.

"Jesus Powers" is the description one applies to a particular person when a particular situation has occurred that defies logic and reason. When the impossible has not only been made possible, but accomplished as well then an individual may be referred to as having Jesus Powers.

(During a late night online first-person shooter match)

Guy 1:"Dude! I shot this asshole with, like, 30 fuckin' bullets! No fuckin' way he could have survived that shit. I was lighting his ass up!"

Guy 2: "Dude's got fuckin' Jesus powers man."

(While attending a magic show)

"How does Criss Angel do that shit? Must have Jesus powers."

Guy 1: "Fuckin' Jesus powers."

by COD blows BFBC2 ROCKS September 11, 2011

Jesus Cloud

When the sun is hidden behind a large cloud so that the light bounces all around the edges and creates an awesome shot of heavenly clouds. Unfortunately, cell phone cameras can never capture these epic views.

Bro: Whoa, look at that cloud, man!
Man: Dude that's epic.
Bro: Like, the light and stuff bouncing around.
Man: It's a Jesus Cloud!

by Ass Kicka January 30, 2012

Jesus Antlers

An abstract concept that generalizes what every white blooded American should stand for.

Cletus - Wesley, did ya remember to pick up that case of PBR and the mountain dew?
Wesley - Hell yeah, I'm always wearing my Jesus Antlers.

by Batdad Merla February 17, 2013

Jesus Wheeled

When a driver cuts through heavy traffic giving up all power to Jesus to guide them through heavy traffic, usually throwing their hands up as if saying "Jesus Take the Wheel!"

"I just got Jesus wheeled by a mom in a minivan as she cut through three lanes of traffic without using her blinker!"

by Bg1981 January 2, 2014

Jesus Fisting

Fisting somebody with a Jesus Fist while screaming "Jesus take the wheel"

I love Jesus Fisting

by Rexoto July 10, 2014

Jesus Jive

A dance performed at a VBS or any very high energy worship service.

"Wow Mary Magdalene is really getting into her Jesus Jive!"

by Mablé Rekrek July 27, 2014