by Maggie EC O'neilll December 20, 2009
Get the EC Christian mug.A christian that chooses what they believe is true in the bible instead of casting it off as a lie altogether or being obedient and believing it all.
Well he believes that Jesus died to save us but he thinks it's okay to eat lobster and slavery is wrong. He's a pick and choose Christian.
by Victoriaisfreshh January 17, 2009
Get the pick and choose [Christian] mug.Related Words
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WELL, HERE ARE 50 FUN THINGS FOR NON-CHRISTIANS TO DO IN CHURCH
1. Pull aside an unruly child in a preschool Sunday School class
and say: "If you're bad in here, you'll go to Hell."
2. A week beforehand, find a member of ACT-UP. Tell him the
scheduled sermon is entitled "Why God Sent AIDS to Punish
Homosexuals".
3. Put stray dogs in coat closets.
4. Un-tune the piano.
5. Replace the pianist's sheet music with "Stairway to Heaven".
6. Going through all the hymnals, mark song 666.
7. Find an empty seat, and ask the person next to it: "Is this
seat SAVED?"
8. Toss around a giant beach ball before service, like at
Grateful Dead concerts.
9. Ten minutes before it starts, find a kid in the front rows,
hand him a dollar, and tell him to ask the preacher: "Would
you rather be stoned or crucified?"
10. Hide copies of Hustler inside the pulpit. Point them out.
11. Start a wave.
12. Do cool things with the lighting.
13. When attendance is taken, sign on fake names like "Hugh G.
Rection" and "Oliver Klozoff".
14. Wear an ankh or a new-age crystal pendant.
15. When the choir sings, roll your eyes and grumble: "Oh,
Christ! Are they gonna do another SONG?"
16. Make up your own words to the songs.
17. Twenty minutes into the service, look at your watch, stand
up, and say: "Oh shit. This isn't the wedding!" Run out
quickly.
18. Eat dry Cap'n Crunch through the entire service.
19. If there is a crying baby, go over and tell the mother: "IF
YOU DON'T SHUT THAT GODDAMN THING UP SO HELP ME GOD I'LL KILL
IT!!!"
20. Dress all in black, or in camo.
21. Pierce the body of a tiny animal with stainless-steel wire.
Wear it in your ear as jewelry. If you are male, wear two.
Change sets for the evening service.
22. If it is an Easter service, wear a pastel jacket, tie, and
matching shorts. If you are male, wear a floral-print dress
instead.
23. At a church dinner, scoop up a forkful of mashed potatoes.
Announce that you can see an image of Jesus.
24. Place blocks of dry ice near the air ducts. Take off your
shoes and socks.
25. Hide near the baptismal pool with a block of sodium. At the
first mention of "fire and brimstone", throw it in.
26. Inflate balloons, then send them off.
27. Mark places in the Bible or hymnal with religious-themed Far
Side cartoons.
28. Turn in the Bible to the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20: 3-17).
Draw in asterisks and write exceptions at the bottom of the
page.
29. Make the sun reflect off your watch into the preacher's face.
30. Make calls to 900 numbers on the phone in the kitchen.
31. During the service, play with plastic dinosaurs. If someone
asks what you're doing, tell them: "These are dinosaurs. They
ruled the earth over 65 million years ago."
32. Discreetly position a number of bottle rockets on the floor.
Discreetly light them.
33. Snicker every time the preacher talks about someone being
stoned, especially Stephen.
34. Dip communion wafers in communion wine. Eat it and exaggerate
on how good it is.
35. When they pass around the collection plate, drop in a piece
of paper with Pat Robertson's MasterCard number.
36. Turn to your neighbor, whisper: "This do in remembrance of
me," and lick them.
37. Fart, and have a friend shout: "Hark! An angel has spoken!"
38. Blow bubbles.
39. Fake a possession.
40. Distribute condoms.
41. Speak in tongues.
42. Ask where the nearest ashtray is.
43. Drool in the collection plate.
44. Ask someone what they think about the Book of Peleponnesians.
After they tell you, inform them that there is no Book of
Peleponnesians.
45. After a Catholic service, stand outside and tell Polish
jokes. When someone points out that Pope John Paul II came
from Poland, act embarrassed.
46. Show unusual interest in any reference to the word
"Ministry".
47. At a church supper, bring a casserole with a ring or piece of
a wristwatch embedded inside.
48. Overnight, have the stained-glass windows replaced with new
ones depicting comical, erotic, or death-related imagery.
Send the bill to the pastor.
49. Write on the bathroom wall: "The eyes of the LORD are upon
you!!!"
50. Spread the word that there'll be a rave party at the address
of the church next Saturday at midnight.
1. Pull aside an unruly child in a preschool Sunday School class
and say: "If you're bad in here, you'll go to Hell."
2. A week beforehand, find a member of ACT-UP. Tell him the
scheduled sermon is entitled "Why God Sent AIDS to Punish
Homosexuals".
3. Put stray dogs in coat closets.
4. Un-tune the piano.
5. Replace the pianist's sheet music with "Stairway to Heaven".
6. Going through all the hymnals, mark song 666.
7. Find an empty seat, and ask the person next to it: "Is this
seat SAVED?"
8. Toss around a giant beach ball before service, like at
Grateful Dead concerts.
9. Ten minutes before it starts, find a kid in the front rows,
hand him a dollar, and tell him to ask the preacher: "Would
you rather be stoned or crucified?"
10. Hide copies of Hustler inside the pulpit. Point them out.
11. Start a wave.
12. Do cool things with the lighting.
13. When attendance is taken, sign on fake names like "Hugh G.
Rection" and "Oliver Klozoff".
14. Wear an ankh or a new-age crystal pendant.
15. When the choir sings, roll your eyes and grumble: "Oh,
Christ! Are they gonna do another SONG?"
16. Make up your own words to the songs.
17. Twenty minutes into the service, look at your watch, stand
up, and say: "Oh shit. This isn't the wedding!" Run out
quickly.
18. Eat dry Cap'n Crunch through the entire service.
19. If there is a crying baby, go over and tell the mother: "IF
YOU DON'T SHUT THAT GODDAMN THING UP SO HELP ME GOD I'LL KILL
IT!!!"
20. Dress all in black, or in camo.
21. Pierce the body of a tiny animal with stainless-steel wire.
Wear it in your ear as jewelry. If you are male, wear two.
Change sets for the evening service.
22. If it is an Easter service, wear a pastel jacket, tie, and
matching shorts. If you are male, wear a floral-print dress
instead.
23. At a church dinner, scoop up a forkful of mashed potatoes.
Announce that you can see an image of Jesus.
24. Place blocks of dry ice near the air ducts. Take off your
shoes and socks.
25. Hide near the baptismal pool with a block of sodium. At the
first mention of "fire and brimstone", throw it in.
26. Inflate balloons, then send them off.
27. Mark places in the Bible or hymnal with religious-themed Far
Side cartoons.
28. Turn in the Bible to the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20: 3-17).
Draw in asterisks and write exceptions at the bottom of the
page.
29. Make the sun reflect off your watch into the preacher's face.
30. Make calls to 900 numbers on the phone in the kitchen.
31. During the service, play with plastic dinosaurs. If someone
asks what you're doing, tell them: "These are dinosaurs. They
ruled the earth over 65 million years ago."
32. Discreetly position a number of bottle rockets on the floor.
Discreetly light them.
33. Snicker every time the preacher talks about someone being
stoned, especially Stephen.
34. Dip communion wafers in communion wine. Eat it and exaggerate
on how good it is.
35. When they pass around the collection plate, drop in a piece
of paper with Pat Robertson's MasterCard number.
36. Turn to your neighbor, whisper: "This do in remembrance of
me," and lick them.
37. Fart, and have a friend shout: "Hark! An angel has spoken!"
38. Blow bubbles.
39. Fake a possession.
40. Distribute condoms.
41. Speak in tongues.
42. Ask where the nearest ashtray is.
43. Drool in the collection plate.
44. Ask someone what they think about the Book of Peleponnesians.
After they tell you, inform them that there is no Book of
Peleponnesians.
45. After a Catholic service, stand outside and tell Polish
jokes. When someone points out that Pope John Paul II came
from Poland, act embarrassed.
46. Show unusual interest in any reference to the word
"Ministry".
47. At a church supper, bring a casserole with a ring or piece of
a wristwatch embedded inside.
48. Overnight, have the stained-glass windows replaced with new
ones depicting comical, erotic, or death-related imagery.
Send the bill to the pastor.
49. Write on the bathroom wall: "The eyes of the LORD are upon
you!!!"
50. Spread the word that there'll be a rave party at the address
of the church next Saturday at midnight.
- If you behave like a good Christian you will go to Heaven when you die.
- Well, I've been a slut all my life and I feel like Heaven every night.
- Well, I've been a slut all my life and I feel like Heaven every night.
by alvit May 26, 2009
Get the Christian mug.A cheap form of music where people try their hardest to sound like the rock band Creed using lyrics that reference the Christian religion and fail epically!
by TomBosley January 29, 2009
Get the Christian Rock mug.When a girl wants to retain her virginity (vaginal), yet still wants to engage in a sex act similar to vaginal sex (anal). Therefore losing her anal virginity, but not vaginal virginity in the process.
Yeah, my girlfriend Ashley had her Christian virginity for two years because she believed in a Christian myth about pregnancy. When she went to college she gave the real thing up to this loser who told her he was a fellow believer.
by Good boy April 27, 2006
Get the christian virginity mug.Loud, likes to club, always finds something to do, gives the BEST presents, and the life of the party!!!!
by A person you dont kno stalkers January 1, 2012
Get the CHRISTIAN mug.Over 2000 branch churches and Reading Rooms in 74 countries. Services conducted in 18 languages.
Mary Baker Eddy (1821-1910) pioneered new ideas about spirituality and health. Inspired by her own experience of healing in 1866, Eddy spent years in Bible study, prayer, and research into various healing methods. The result was a system of healing she dubbed Christian Science in 1879. Her book, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, broke new ground in the understanding of the mind-body-spirit connection. She went on to found a college, a church, a publishing enterprise, and the respected newspaper, The Christian Science Monitor.
The faith teaches that God, Father-Mother of all, is completely good and wholly spiritual, and that all God's creation, including the true nature of every person, is the flawless, spiritual likeness of the Divine. Since God’s creation is good, evils such as disease, death, and sin cannot be a part of fundamental reality. Rather, these evils are the result of living apart from God. Prayer is a central way to come closer to God and heal human ills.
Christian Science teaches that these and other spiritual facts undergirded Jesus' healing work--and form the basis on which others can heal physical and spiritual problems today. Jesus’ ministry is their paradigm for healing and demonstrates the centrality of healing to salvation. Christian Scientists pray to realize more of the reality of God and God's love daily, and to experience and help others experience the harmonizing, healing effect of this understanding.
For most Christian Scientists, spiritual healing is an effective first choice and, as a result, they turn to the power of prayer in lieu of medical treatment. Government authorities have occasionally challenged this approach, especially in certain circumstances where they have interpreted this as withholding medical treatment from minors. However, there is no church policy mandating members' health care decisions.
Christian Science has no ministers. Rather, the Bible and Science and Health act as pastor and preacher. Bible lessons are studied daily and read aloud on Sunday.
For more on the basic beliefs of Christian Science, see Tenets of Christian Science, Mary Baker Eddy's response to the question, "Have Christian Scientists any religious creed?"
The Bible (King James Version) and Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures.
Eddy made Boston the headquarters of the church in 1881. In 1892, the church was named The First Church of Christ, Scientist, or The Mother Church; local churches are considered branches. The Christian Science Board of Directors runs The Mother Church and local branches function on a democratic basis. The Mother Church and its branches operate under the guidance of the Manual of the Mother Church by Mary Baker Eddy.
Mary Baker Eddy (1821-1910) pioneered new ideas about spirituality and health. Inspired by her own experience of healing in 1866, Eddy spent years in Bible study, prayer, and research into various healing methods. The result was a system of healing she dubbed Christian Science in 1879. Her book, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, broke new ground in the understanding of the mind-body-spirit connection. She went on to found a college, a church, a publishing enterprise, and the respected newspaper, The Christian Science Monitor.
The faith teaches that God, Father-Mother of all, is completely good and wholly spiritual, and that all God's creation, including the true nature of every person, is the flawless, spiritual likeness of the Divine. Since God’s creation is good, evils such as disease, death, and sin cannot be a part of fundamental reality. Rather, these evils are the result of living apart from God. Prayer is a central way to come closer to God and heal human ills.
Christian Science teaches that these and other spiritual facts undergirded Jesus' healing work--and form the basis on which others can heal physical and spiritual problems today. Jesus’ ministry is their paradigm for healing and demonstrates the centrality of healing to salvation. Christian Scientists pray to realize more of the reality of God and God's love daily, and to experience and help others experience the harmonizing, healing effect of this understanding.
For most Christian Scientists, spiritual healing is an effective first choice and, as a result, they turn to the power of prayer in lieu of medical treatment. Government authorities have occasionally challenged this approach, especially in certain circumstances where they have interpreted this as withholding medical treatment from minors. However, there is no church policy mandating members' health care decisions.
Christian Science has no ministers. Rather, the Bible and Science and Health act as pastor and preacher. Bible lessons are studied daily and read aloud on Sunday.
For more on the basic beliefs of Christian Science, see Tenets of Christian Science, Mary Baker Eddy's response to the question, "Have Christian Scientists any religious creed?"
The Bible (King James Version) and Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures.
Eddy made Boston the headquarters of the church in 1881. In 1892, the church was named The First Church of Christ, Scientist, or The Mother Church; local churches are considered branches. The Christian Science Board of Directors runs The Mother Church and local branches function on a democratic basis. The Mother Church and its branches operate under the guidance of the Manual of the Mother Church by Mary Baker Eddy.
(BTNH)Ehy ctonn what the fuck is christian science hey i used and oxymoron (CTONN) well u c its a bunch of fuks that think they can heal u using spiritual powers (BTNH) oh like that fuker from the christian channel what was that kum quats name (CTONN) oh u mean benny hinn i want to fuk that nigger up (BTNH) why did he talk bout yo mamma (CTONN) NO he is a giant fraud he doesnt heal u his suits cost like $5000 each and he lives in like 8 houses with like 48 cars he just used those christian ppl to get rich (BTNH) WHO hasent used them to get rich there soo damn easy just pretend ure like tiny tim during christmass and walk around with a limp anyways where is he now (CTONN) Probably in jail gettin a human booster shot from some guy named BUBBA
by BTNH February 5, 2005
Get the Christian science mug.