couch guru

A couch guru is an individual who lives on your couch and provides nuggets of wisdom, advice, and the dankest weed hook-ups. The couch guru sustains themselves by consuming Mountain Dew, Doritos and porn. Example: the guy on the couch from Half Baked.

My couch guru hooked me up with a new water bong and advised me on how to fix my relationship with my father.

by Colberttoldmeto August 23, 2016

Couch troll

To troll live feeds on Facebook relentlessly asking questions about the couch for sale.

Jesse was up all night being a couch troll

by Couch cat February 25, 2019

couch plant

to sexually please someone.. on the couch

I would couch plant Evinger .. for an A+.

by couchplanter October 28, 2010

Fuzzard's Couch

When a person and their couch have become a couple after years of a person sleeping on their couch and "sleeping" with their couch.

Don't touch that couch. That's a Fuzzard's couch.

by Staichen March 30, 2024

whooping couch

A mental condition caused by low self esteem where you’re too depressed or lazy to do anything else.

The guy had such a severe case of whooping couch nobody saw him for weeks.

by CK Medical November 3, 2023

Couching

Couching is when you sit or lay on a couch and do nothing. It's also a sport.

"I won yesterdays couching competition!"

by The Queen Of Rainbows December 9, 2016

Fiend on the couch

Someone with a high level of awareness & wisdom in a particular field or fields that you have handy to test products for you and provide critical feedback to help you come to an educated decision

Crack dealers back in the day typically do not partake of their product or a neighboring competitors product to test it's quality.. so they give it to their fiend on the couch

by MacWhite7 May 12, 2024