the church of 999

the church of scp-999 (slimey boy). the church of peanut's greatest enemy (join the church of peanut now), is a group of scp-999 worshippers. 999 worshippers are known as "idiots". The church of 999 is at constant war with the church of peanut. (join the church of peanut now) While 999 worshippers are braindead and idiotic, they are equipped with heavy weaponry. this heavy weaponry ranges from M9 berettas to Stoner 96 LMGs. the church of 999's leader is unknown to this day, but it is said that the leader of the church of 999 holds one of, if not the most powerful weapon in existence... the Micro H.I.D., ripped straight out of SCP:SL!!!!!!!!!!

joe: yo wanna be friends
mama: sure bro
joe: do you go to church?
mama: yes, i go to the church of 999
joe: nvm bro, we are no longer friends

by beanut lover May 28, 2022

breaking the church bell

extremely violent and intense loss of ones virginity.

Bro1:what did you do with that girl last night
Bro2: let’s just say I was breaking the church bell

by The real big F May 1, 2019

Church Camp Effect

When you are on a church event for so long that you forget what real girls look like and become so horny that the statue of Mary is turning you on. When you begin to lust over fat Betsy.

Give it 2 nights and the church camp effect will kick in.

That church camp effect is hitting Timmy hard, he is all over Betsy.

by FireCrotch17 May 10, 2020

Middle east church service

When you have a public execution of 12 or more people

That was some middle east church service, there we over 17 people attending

by Edgy2002 May 18, 2017

Church Slider

A fart in church that usually done for the intention of spicing up a rather boring situation.

I did a lil church slider because it was boring AF in there.

by Ornery Individual November 26, 2021

no lube, no protection, all night all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the church, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, he can top me

no lube, no protection, all night all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the church, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, he can top me is a saying that is usually uttered when someone or something is incredibly attractive, hot, or sexy.

no lube, no protection, all night all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the church, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, he can top me. - Twitter User

by TheTellerofTheTellings March 21, 2024

Haunting the Church

When a guy ejaculates in a girl, sending his holy ghosts to haunt her sacred place.

After a girls had sex, her "church" is likely to be "haunted" for a short time after and it's not advised for anyone else to go poking around unless they are super brave.

Haunting the Church:

Bro 1: "Hailey just gave me the eye, I think we're going to go back to mine for some 2 person push-ups."

Bro 2: "Easy there Bill Murray, she was doing some gland-to-gland combat with her ex at pre drinks. That church is haunted for sure."

Bro 1: "Sounds like mass will be in the Rectory tonight."

Bro 2: "Spooky..."

by MonsieurSoixanteNeuf November 6, 2021