so far in the closet they were sitting on Christmas

A figure of speech meaning that you are being such a concealed person of the LGBTQIA+ Community (known as "closeted") that your metaphorically sitting on stuff at the back of the closet, AKA seasonal decor. (See also "you should be pretty fashionable with how long you've been in the closet")

"Everyone kept wondering why Alex never talked about their personal life, but we all knew they were so far in the closet they were sitting on Christmas."

by SudyCrumbz August 21, 2024

Closet Piece

a girl who is friends with a guy and the guy secretly has feelings for the girl but doesn't want to show them because the girl isn't the typical aesthetic norm that they would date

TAYLOR: I really like Luke...
BRIANA: Well, does Luke like you back?
TAYLOR: Yes, but he won't do anything about it!
BRIANA: Why not? If he likes you, there shouldn't be a problem.
TAYLOR: I'm not a size zero, I'm short and my thighs are too thick... He won't date me because I don't look like all the other girls. But, he still fucks me every now and then.
BRIANA: Damn, you're his closet piece.

by boosadleys June 12, 2016

Closet Jacker

An overly competitive alpha-male who refuses to accept defeat; or when defeated, is a total bitch about it, see also veenus master.

Once Tyrone lost by a free-throw, he's been nothing but a closet jacker in all our pickup games.

by Chuck Denniston October 5, 2018

Closet princess

A man who thinks he is perfect, big, tough, or any combination of these, but panics at the sight of his own shadow.

"Jonathan, my neighbor, is a closet princess - he acts tough like he's 2Pac, but you come out the bushes on him and he screams like a 4 year old girl and runs away. Yesterday I saw him take out the trash and he looked down on the ground and jumped, dude literally got scared of his own damn shadow."

by AmXtra May 20, 2024

Closet Escaper

Person who successfully accepted that they're gay or successfully escaped Narnia.

Did you hear about Colton? He's finally came out! He's a closet escaper!

by Cheeseburger69 March 18, 2016

closet kicker

a homosexual male that kicks other men in the testicles to hide their gayness. They are also frustrated that their penis size it abnormally small so they feel other men should be the same size they do this by kicking them in the testicles

Johnny kicked me in the balls the other day must be because he's a closet kicker

by rhino-potamous June 23, 2010

Closet Archive

When you are so behind on laundry that you have to wear grey sweats-on-grey sweats that you haven’t worn since high school, but religiously wore when you did.

People at my community college I went to high school with probably recognize now that I’m wearing clothes from my closet archives that I wore during my depression.

by mws1eee October 22, 2025