Couch

A place where your dad loses his spare change and wallet sometimes if your lucky.

Bob: Hey Kelly I need some money can you make a distraction while I go check inside the couch?
Kelly: Ok.
Bob: Oh cool dads wallet is here were gonna buy so many diabetes.

by supboi200 June 26, 2018

couch dolphin

1. (noun) A colloquial name for the Indo-Appalachian right-finned porpoise, usually found gesticulating betwixt couch cushions very racistly. Swims to the very far right and has a parasitic relationship with the “greatest” and whitest of sharks, when convenient.

2. (noun) A person who has intimate relations with an upholstered sitting apparatus, while they are watching ‘Flipper’ reruns, ‘Zeus and Roxanne,’ etc. , because the concept of human connection perplexes them.

Well… that Jim Dave fellow turned out to be a real couch dolphin. Yikes. Is this why Cleveland had to get rid of Sea World?

by Judith Jetson Lightyear July 27, 2024

Turkish Couch Bath

The act of getting so drunk that you pass out on a piece of furniture, typically a couch, fully clothed. The “actor” proceeds to blow chunks, traditionally a noodle based meal, on to the furniture and his person. Two or more participating males remove clothing and vigorously wipe down the actor and furniture piece removing said chunks with sponges or clothes, thus completing the “Turkish Couch Bath”.

n. Subsequent cleaning of the furniture by minor children is also referred to as a “Turkish Play date”

C-bone: “TJ got so ripped last night he ended up puking up Mac salad all over the couch and himself. Damien and I had to give him an old fashion Turkish Couch Bath.”

by Big Ticket76 November 26, 2021

couch

were you fuck your girlfriend.

Boy: ima put you on da couch!
Girl: what i dont want to!
Boy too bad! oo oo oh ya!

by yourdadisnotcoolsooof October 5, 2020

cough couch

when you are asked if your going somewhere

“are you going to the store?”
“cough couch yes/cough couch no”

by poopei October 6, 2020

Couch Cock

"Couch Cock" is slang for lazy dick during intercourse.

"yo,I was too high to fuck Judy,but i gave her some Couch Cock."

by TerryWanEye August 31, 2019

Couch Collector

Someone who is never satisfied with the couch they currently have.

Henry: "Dude, my mom keeps buying couches, and then they aren't good enough to her... so we donate them to Salvation Army. But since I'm a guy, I have to move them all. We've had like 5 different couches in the last 2 years!"

Matthew: "Bro.. she a couch collector."

by Phantom649 June 3, 2019