Captain Numbnuts

Someone trying to act like the descendant of Captain Obvious

Person A: 2 plus 2 equal chair

Person B: You don't say! Thanks for the information, Captain Numbnuts!

by what do i care 125 February 05, 2022

Captain Band

Obviously, the captain of the band.

Also, the only 'member of a group of musical misfits who can 'actually' play an instrument.

See also musician,ross saunders

"Hey, Captain Band, man, you're soooo good (lookin')!"

by Captain Band December 14, 2003

captain calculate

1: A mythical figure whom possesses math skills of a much higher level than that of an average mortal man. (Believed by some to have the ability to solve complex quadratic equations with minimal expenditure of time and/or physical exertion.)

2: One whom has the ability to go medieval on that seemingly unsolvable and obscure "The train left the station" problem's ass.

"Im no captain calculate, but 31 divided by 2 doesn't exactly perplex me."

by The Math Merlin December 29, 2007

Captain Todd

Aye aye captain.

Guy#1: who's that dude over there?
Guy#2: Oh him? Yeah, he's Captain Todd. Haven't you heard about him?

by ChrisPierreBacon November 25, 2018

Captain Tractor

A somewhat interesting superhero who probably owes his name to a much more interesting Canadian Folk-Band captain tractor. He is the quissential Canadian-Teenage-Stoner, with the exception of having super powers. Of course due to the low crime rate of the Great White North, he hardly ever does anything worth mentioning. Although he did stop a "whacky" nazi invaison of his own highschool once. Currently he is the leaser of "super" team comprised of a equally defunct individuals including: shrewd, an idiot, a perverted homocidal maniac, a stalker, and a bit fat guy.

Captain Tractor is currently being turned into an indie flick by Five-Men and a Lemon productions.

"Captain Tractor took out the Robotic-Death-Hats his shark gun...which in fact did shoot out a living breathing Tiger Shark."

by The Denominator January 30, 2007

Captain Shook

A name for someone in a position of management who frequently overreacts to all employees mistakes.

"Hey Bill, is Captain Shook around? I spilled some water and I don't want to get written up again."

by HiIKnifeYou May 19, 2017

Captain cougar

Tall, bearded, hipster man-like being, likes to flirt, drink and play poker.
Loves a good wooly mammoth to keep warm at night, but not against a night alone with a big tube of prescription lube.

That guy has a big beard - “must be a captain cougar”

by Hookname December 04, 2020