July 5th

Nobody gives a fuck about the birth of America and the separation of those tea suckers from the damn colonizers. That is yesterdays problem. What people were really whispering about was the the awful happenings of discharge. The question is why does discharge happen… fuck discharge. While swimming is all good and fun it’s the dangers of taking off the suit that girls across America fret about. What has my vagina created? You have to take off your suit and discover. July 5th marks a type of day that you and your friends promise to never talk about. The kind of day that stays between the brothers forever and always.

Lisa: Hey I’m tired let’s go dry off and put on our clothes… get out of these suits.

Ophelia and Eddy: Okay !

Lisa: Let’s see the goods. Just for fun we’re all girls.

Eddy: Ahhhhhhhhh what just flight out of Ophelia???

Ophelia: Guys oh my gosh. No.

Eddy: We can’t be friends with discharge girl.

Lisa: Yeah let’s get out of here before we get the discharge touch.

Ophelia: Guys please never talk about this it’s a July 5th kinda moment.

by WeatherForcast March 26, 2022

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Get the July 5thmug.

July 7th

July 7th is National Text Your Sweetheart Day! When this day comes, you should send your man a long, loving message telling them how much you love them.

Girl 1: (texting)
Girl 2: Whatcha doing?
Girl 1: I'm telling my boyfriend how much I love him! Did you forget it's July 7th?
Girl 2: Ohhhh, yeah! That reminds me, I need to text my boyfriend.

by damnyouratchet July 6, 2020

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