Captain Firehose

A Man who DOUSES unsuspecting women with copious amounts of semen.

Jane was attacked by a maniac also known as Captain Firehose.

by DaedricToast February 21, 2014

Captain Social

A social gathering that consists of drinking massive amounts of Captain Morgan.

When Zach and Jessica reunite, their captain socials always make them get very wasted.

by MasterSnowflake March 29, 2011

captain desmond

the captain of the "Babylon" space exploration ship played by Crazy Dan in the film "Enemas From Space"

Captain Desmond: "hey raasclaat get up ere to de bridge an roll me a spliff!

by selley November 23, 2004

Captain Numbnuts

Someone trying to act like the descendant of Captain Obvious

Person A: 2 plus 2 equal chair

Person B: You don't say! Thanks for the information, Captain Numbnuts!

by what do i care 125 February 05, 2022

Captain Band

Obviously, the captain of the band.

Also, the only 'member of a group of musical misfits who can 'actually' play an instrument.

See also musician,ross saunders

"Hey, Captain Band, man, you're soooo good (lookin')!"

by Captain Band December 14, 2003

captain calculate

1: A mythical figure whom possesses math skills of a much higher level than that of an average mortal man. (Believed by some to have the ability to solve complex quadratic equations with minimal expenditure of time and/or physical exertion.)

2: One whom has the ability to go medieval on that seemingly unsolvable and obscure "The train left the station" problem's ass.

"Im no captain calculate, but 31 divided by 2 doesn't exactly perplex me."

by The Math Merlin December 29, 2007

Captain Todd

Aye aye captain.

Guy#1: who's that dude over there?
Guy#2: Oh him? Yeah, he's Captain Todd. Haven't you heard about him?

by ChrisPierreBacon November 25, 2018