SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.

I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

by Catamount June 21, 2008

root rub

Going to the hairdresser and getting your hair roots rubbed with hair dye.

Went to the hairdressers as my roots were showing so I got a root rub

by Macknificicacent February 1, 2023

gravy rub

At the completion of intercourse, the final, vigorous stroke as ejaculation commences.

Watching some cows mating, a farmer might saw "yep, there he goes, there's the gravy rub."

by Secretfrown May 30, 2016

<.7.9.7.6.>Stop Rubbing MY mMmeat<.7.9.7.6.>

<.7.9.7.6.>Stop Rubbing MY mMmeat<.7.9.7.6.>

<.7.9.7.6.>Stop Rubbing MY mMmeat<.7.9.7.6.>

by TheGeneralGenitalsPranksterian May 16, 2025

The Big Rub

Where a male or female subject give another male subject a handy.

Tristan wanted Derek to go up to Shawn's office for the big rub.

by Shag604 August 25, 2017

burning rubs

To have sex multiple times in a day.

John: How did yesterday go with Kate?

Billy: Man I was burning rubs all day.

John: Sweet man.

Billy: Ya

by Beeje December 9, 2008

Rub it on like a jar of mayonnaise

lather each other (you and your partner) up in mayonnaise and spank each other while engaging in amazing sex

Person 1: Hey, I wanna try something new today..
Person 2: What did you have in mind??
Person 1: I wanted to try Rub it on like a jar of mayonnaise today..
Person 2: I'll get the mayonnaise!

by MAYONNAISE RUBBER 69 June 11, 2018