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Cumnor House Parents

Someone who usually goes drinking at The Griffin inn or, if you're having a quiet one, The coach and horses. One whose anatomy is made up of 80% wine, 10% tory and the last 10% is either more alcohol or fags depending on how many years of school fees they have left to pay.
person 1: maybe we should open one more bottle?

person 2: yehhhhh why not, let's not turn into Cumnor House parents though, we've already got through 5.
by peanutswithpasta February 5, 2022
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Schrödinger’s Parent

a parent who abuses a child verbally and physically, but proceeds to claim that it’s because they love them/it’s for their own good
have you heard about John Lennon’s parenting life?”
“he must be a Schrödinger’s Parent”
by sitemanlol May 18, 2023
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Deputy Parent

An African term Ref. Southern Africa that is used to refare to the first-born child, Mainly towards first-born daughters. The term is used because First-borns usually take the role as an auxiliary parent or caretaker for their younger siblings, often bearing the same emotional and Physical responsibility as the actual parents.
Eg. I never catch a break at home. My parents are never around so as the Deputy Parent, I have to do everything.

Eg. She's the deputy parent.
by Luun March 23, 2024
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Cover Parent

A cover parent is someone who likes to say they are a parent and post pictures of their kid but when it comes down to the work they usually let the spouse or someone else do it.
Did you here Becka says shes a good mother but her husband says she’s just a cover parent.
by Itzgrimsley June 8, 2022
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parent-jacking

When an annoying parent (mommy or daddy) tries to direct any conversation or activity into themselves as a parent, or of their children when it has nothing to do with the activity.
An example of parent-jacking
"Oh by the way, I just watched this hilarious new show on TV the other day"
"Oh, my Timmy is so cute when he watches TV. He always laughs and smiles at everything!"
by techyartsyman52 June 11, 2021
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Newsletter Parent

Parent who doesn't listen never turns up for the child and only wants something to put in the newsletter to send to other parents who are busy ignoring their own kids. Lives in denial and thinks it is still the 1980's in complete ignorance of the economic and environmental mess they have bequeathed to future generations. Spends there time buying investment properties making it harder for people to buy a house, and taking holidays while young people do it tougher each year.
My newsletter parent wanted something for her Christmas newsletter.
by dildoswaggins41 August 30, 2024
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Parental Notification

TFW all of a sudden you experience an increase in red dots across all your socials and you mistake your newfound popularity for the feigned interest of The Rents.

The Rents take an artificial and outsized interest in your mundane posts this time of year because they want you to cancel that cruise and catch two connections so you can have dry turkey and iced tea on the couch like God intended in memory if the Fourth Commandment.
Bro, why are you on your phone so much right now?

Bro my socials are blowing up. So many dots.

What did you post?

A picture of my sandwich.

Let me see.

Oh, Bro. Thanksgiving is next week. This is a parental notification.
by anonymous November 15, 2023
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