wet the monkey

To perform a sexual act involving male genitalia that are moistened by any substance, especially by, ahem, natural lubrication.

I haven't wet the monkey in FOREVER. I'm seriously pining.

Dude, you wet the monkey when you're by yourself? That takes a lot of effort. I normally keep it dry.

by Garr Fizlock March 4, 2009

Purple Pirate Ninja Monkey

It is said that the Purple Pirate Ninja Monkey is the only thing in existence that can survive a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. This creature dwells in the deepest areas of the amazon rainforest feasting on various fruits and plants. Standing 12 feet tall and armed with an arsenal of pirate weapons and ninja skills it is quite simply the most deadly animal on the planet.

*WARNING*

Stay away, extremely dangerous DO NOT APPROACH under any circumstances

None available, nobody has ever been near the Purple Pirate Ninja Monkey and survived.

Purple Pirate Ninja Monkey Death Sword Shuriken Amazon Chuck Norris Chuck Norris

by Genuine Chocolate Face December 21, 2010

Alaskan Spider Monkey

The act of filling a vagina with ice and then having sex with it.

Stan had a very cold dick after doing an alaskan spider monkey.

by jps123456 November 15, 2011

Rug Monkey

term for children, specifically one that's just been born.

Man my aunt just squirted out another rug monkey.

by thedeciver January 11, 2009

spasticated monkey

meaning a person or individual acting very strange or studip. Someone being like a monkey of its brain.

Does he always act like this? "No he's just being a spasticated monkey".

by dylberto32 August 21, 2009

cock monkey

One who swings from cock to cock like a monkey swings from branch to branch.

Jason sprayed me again with an upside-down can of compressed air...what a cock monkey.;

by teh pwn jAs0n August 26, 2005

Beer Monkey

An imaginary primate that steals all your money on a night out.

I had to leg it from the taxi driver as the beer monkey had robbed me!

by JC Meister July 5, 2004