Panic Wank

A game played by terribly bored teenagers. The typical scenario involves being alone in one's room, erection in hand. The participant then shouts in order to call the attention of someone they would rather not be masturbating infront of: the most common example being the mother. The player then attempts to bring himself to climax and clean up before the mother, or other, enters the room to see what they were wanted for.

A rainy day in middle class English suburbia. One nervous sixteen year old male clutches his erect penis in one hand, Kleenex in the other. He clears his throat, ensuring his voice does not falter.

"MUM!!"

The game of panic wank begins.

by Panic Wanker October 1, 2009

Air-wank

The gesture of masturbating in the air, invariably male in orientation, and usually expressing a lack of impression or excitement. Often shown with asterisks bracketing indicating action, like so:

*air-wank*

Not to be confused with *air-rub*.

A: I'll bet you five bucks you can't get a date with that fat chick over there.

B: *air-wank* Are you kidding me? I've got a whole cooler full of Ben & Jerry's in the car when the truffles in my pocket run out.

by Mr. Scumbag to you February 18, 2010

Force Wanking

Using the 'Force' to elicit free goods fom a person or persons/business or otherwise. The duplicit nature will often invoke an orgasm of the mind.

Bernard just got that squid for free! Colin Kemp: Its not a squid its powdered, but yeah it was free i force-wanked him.
How the bollocks did you do that? Force Wanking Doh!!...

by councilor colin kemp January 19, 2012

Wank tomb

A secluded place where one goes to browse porn and masturbate. One will often not emerge for some time. Sometimes referred to as a ‘Man Cave’.

I’ve just lost my job so I spend most of my days sealed in my wank tomb.

by Napoledan September 2, 2018

wank shank

When you shank someone with your wank or they shank you with your wank. Or the other person grabs a sharp object and shanks you in the wank or you do that with an object to the other person.

Stop being such a Wank Shank!

Stop Wank Shanking me!

by Doun Sin Drum Jey March 11, 2017

Wank Bladder

The Tiny bladder that contains sperm. Alledged to only hold enough for around 7 wanks.

7 also being the mystical number of wanks before you hit the "wank barrier"

"I got up to seven wanks tonight but I just couldn't cum no more!...Think I emptied the wank bladder!"

Or:
"I tried to get past seven wanks but hit the wank barrier"

by combatstig March 15, 2009

Commando wank

Quick and intense self gratification, usually performed spontaneously anywhere, outside or at work. Once aroused by erotic stimuli ie. co worker, billboard model or you just have too...

Arthur became aroused watching the laundry go round, a commando wank was the only answer.

by jazrowjo August 3, 2009