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Retard Handshake

Going in for a handshake and 'accidentally' slipping a thumb in the other person's asshole.
"I saw that hot chick from the 6th floor in the elevator today, you know, the one I called dibs on, I nearly gave her a retard handshake as she walked out."
by slack455 July 31, 2012
mugGet the Retard Handshakemug.

Retard Motivation

The limitless determination errupted oftenly in mentaly-disabled/arrogent people when they really want to do something that would be normally considered frivolous, impossible, or even murderous, depending on the initiative of the person using it.
"Dude, I over at my friends house when he got really drunk and tried to fly down the stairs like superman"

"Yeah, he gets some retard motivation when he gets really sloshed"
by Comenter2222@yahoo.com February 11, 2012
mugGet the Retard Motivationmug.

Retarded Ava

A retard who only sucks her own jiblets. She exactly has 23 of them and they are all dried out. She waters them everyday but they won’t hydrate themselves. She will only eat rotten camel nuts to fulfill her dreams about having more nuts.
Jim: Ahh there is a retarded Ava, run because she will try to take your balls!!

Bob: It’s fine she already took mine, and it was painful!!
by Yert Skrt October 13, 2019
mugGet the Retarded Avamug.

Comedy Retard

A member of a circle of friends who only has his place due to his mental retardedness enciting some comedy value.
Prima: "Durrr hi guys!!!"
Secunda: "Who's that?"
Tertia: "Oh, that's Tim, our Comedy Retard."
by Muaka October 19, 2010
mugGet the Comedy Retardmug.

Certified Retard

Where you're a real and official retard, so if someone is being more than just a retard they are a
Certified Retard.
Random Guy: Saying Niqka is Racist
Another Random Guy: Your a Certified Retard
by datboi334 May 10, 2021
mugGet the Certified Retardmug.

Comidicly-Retarded

To be comidicly-retarded is to be completely unaware of the joke at hand. As the great General Sam once said "some of you are comidicly-retarded. Pronunciation is rather simple: com-ee-dic-ly re-tar-ded.
This fucking asshole here. Doesn't even get the joke and he sits there bobbin' his stupid head along. He's comidicly-retarded.
by iamthedizzione May 5, 2019
mugGet the Comidicly-Retardedmug.

Functional Retard

A person who is obviously weird, strange, and does retard-like things, but is a fully functional human being, or whatever species they are. Usually they are assholes, but they're usually enjoyable and funny.
Example 1)

*Gonzo screams "Dick Waterfall" in the middle of an instructional period*

Jessica: What is wrong with that man

Amber: I don't know, but he must be a pretty functional kind of retard.

Example 2)

*Actual disabled child walks by*

Jessica: He's probably not a very functional retard

Amber: Dude, that's my brother.
by ThatFuckWad December 4, 2014
mugGet the Functional Retardmug.

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