Delayed Morning Wood Syndrome

Delayed Morning Wood Syndrome (DMWS) is an erection of the male genitalia that would normally occur after one wakes up, but is heavily delayed and occurs at a later time in the morning. 3 in 5 men are affected by this syndrome on a day to day basis. This generally gives the male extreme discomfort, as they try to hide it from others.

(Sitting on the bus, looking down) Shit, I got Delayed Morning Wood Syndrome!

(Walking down street, looks down) Damn it! DMWS again!

Friend 1: Come on! Erected in the morning?
You: Sorry, it's DMWS.

by MaxNrg November 30, 2010

virtual morning wood

the erection caused by taking a nap instead of a whole night's sleep. Instead of true morning wood, it is a phallic fallacy.

Mah: "Man, after this nice long nap, I think I'm going to have to go out back and chop this virtual morning wood."

by SuterLareau February 23, 2011

Morning-wood wack off party

A pre-breakfast gathering of classy gentlemen who unsheath their morning wood or Erections for a little masterbation party. Holding hands is optional. No Homo.

Man, I woke up this morning really lonely and just thought. "I could really use a morning-wood wack off party".

by The bee's knees August 17, 2013

Wood Morning

A good morning expression for certain circumstances.
See morning wood

him: good morning.

her: ooh, wood morning baby!

by woodsey March 14, 2012

Sap O' The Morning Wood

When you jerk off in the morning in order to get rid of your morning boner.

I had an important interview that morning, so I rubbed out a sap o' the morning wood, got dressed, and left the house.

by SpringFellows May 26, 2016

morning wood

What Pinocchio no longer had to contend with after becoming a real boy.

Actually, it would likely have been da other way around --- having no flesh or blood, everyone's favorite puppet most likely could not have gotten a hard-on even if he'd wanted one, plus da elderly carver Geppetto very likely didn't even give Pinocchio a "woodpecker" in da first place. After he became a real boy and was overjoyed to be able to wake up and see his own supple flesh instead of just dense dry tree-fiber, however, he would have also gained all of his "normal male human" bodily organs, and so he might indeed have had to deal with embarrassing "morning wood", especially in a few years when he became a teenager.

by QuacksO February 19, 2023

Morning wood

When you get a boner in the morning (mostly at 6:00 AM)

Man i got that Morning wood this sucks
now im horny
i gotta check my sock and computer
*30 mins later*
Ah, satisfied.

by FunniManHeHeHeHa March 16, 2022