stealth masterbating

When one wacks off as quietly as possible so as to not disturb the people in the same room.

Sam: I hope no one notices I am stealth masterbating
Girl friend: Sam ... are you wacking off!!!!
Sam: Oh Shit!

by themanwiththeplan9192 April 4, 2010

Masterbating Monkey

A primate creature who masterbates.

"Monkey Masterbation Spotting" has become a hobby in the South American State of illinois. A well known competitor in the sport of of Monkey Masterbation Spotting is Fred Phelps, a very vocal and fanatically religeous biggot.

The monkey wrapped his primate hand around his primate pink penis, and masterbated furiously untill he fell out of his tree. Fred Phelps watched in glee as he photographed the event so he could show the pictures to his family.

by Gordon Freeman October 31, 2004

Laws of Masterbation

1) you may only jizz on a guy if he is dead or unconscious.

2) You may only jizz on a girl if she is alive and conscious.

3) you may not jizz in front of family members

4) you may not jizz in front of a guy unless both of you are jizzing on the same girl.

feel free to add more.

Dude, you just broke the first and third laws of masterbation by jizzing on your dad!

by anon113618436 January 5, 2010

Urban masterbation

The activity, or sport, of ejacualting on random people in towns and cities, and then running away.

1) "Oh god, what happened to you?"

2) "Some asshole ejacualted all over me while I was walking home from work"

1) "Ah, he must have been playing urban masterbation"

by originalname1234 September 19, 2012

extreme masterbation

masterbating so hard it gives you a nice warm feeling then hurts

guy 1-i did some extreme masterbation today
guy 2-did it hurt?
guy 1 at the end, yes.

by rob billy June 18, 2011

ferociously masterbating

beating your meat so hard that it would appear that you were about to rip it off

Dan masterbated so ferociously that he started bleeding

by Laurier November 24, 2004

masterbation juice

its jizz, semen, and masterbation juice

Chris: Hey kyle what are you doing under the bed

Kyle: I made some masterbation juice and it got all in my hair

by kyle mcclay September 25, 2006