Jesus

The guys who loves you when everybody else thinks you're an asshole
Jesus loves you..., but everybody else thinks you're an asshole
by badmanjose July 23, 2015
Get the Jesus mug.

Jesus

The Lord and Savior of the world. I wish all of those who mock him on this site eventually find what he was and what he said was all true...
"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, so that whoever believes in him shall not die but have eternal life." - John 3:16
by ILoveJesus September 22, 2004
Get the Jesus mug.

jesus

The religious figurehead of christianity; defined as a child of the middle east (who aren't white), usually pictured as a white guy, and for some reason using his name in vain only applies when someone else has more pull in christianity.

Possibly Superman
"You know jesus died for your sins!"

"I know. That's why I sin so much. I wouldn't want him to have died in vain!"

"That's blasphemy!"

"Dude, you have been to church a total of 2 times more than me. Tis points sytem sucks!"
by G.L. Wolf April 08, 2008
Get the jesus mug.

jesus

God's Son who died for all, even the people who have posted all of the sacreligious words above.
For God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
by newuser March 17, 2003
Get the jesus mug.

Jesus

Some holy guy with a cool beard
Wasn’t Jesus that one guy who fucking died and came back to life
by Dog muncher123 November 03, 2018
Get the Jesus mug.

jesus

Was black according to 'Dogma'.
person 1: What an interesting concept, to think Jesus was black and so much white Christian tyranny could be based on a lie.
person 2: Dude.
by Argos Gold March 20, 2005
Get the jesus mug.

Jesus

(This definition coming from a Jew) May or may not be the son of God, but still a good guy with a straight message. But his messages were horribly misinterpreted by millions to mean that if you don't believe in him, then you are a sinner and must be attacked until you accept his religion, actually not his religion, his followers religions (Jesus was jewish). Eventually was nailed to a piece of wood and killed by Romans. Apperantly resurrected, (which in present day we celebrate by painting eggs, wtf!?). And uhh, I don't remember the rest, well that parts not important. Anyway, his message was get along. Christians need to chill with that high and mighty shit.
Jesus: Get along
Hitler: Kill Jews? Okay!
Jesus: No you retards!
by 187withmydickinyourmouth April 17, 2010
Get the Jesus mug.