n. Snowtard, v. Snowtarded, adj. Snowtarded pejorative.
A snowtard is a driver who, when introduced to a snowy/icy environment will act entirely inappropriately.
There are many ways in which you can express your self as a snowtard, some are more dangerous than others.
The most common and harmless snowtard is one who simply avoids leaving his or her house at the sight of snow, he or she is most likely to become a problem when calling you and either flaking out on previous plans or asking you for help in the form of transportation.
Another type of snowtard is considerably more visible, this is the moron you'll see spinning his or her tires for the sole purpose of destroying them. This type rarely goes very far and will often abandon their vehicle in the middle of the most heavily used arterial road because of a flat tire which he or she probably can't even change.
The final type of snowtard that I will be explaining today is the maverick type; this moron has a fairly decent vehicle equipped with AWD, traction control, snow tires, etc. and has come to the conclusion that they are completely invincible to snow. You will notice this person getting as close as possible to your rear bumper honking and beaming their 10,000 watt xenon lights into your car like a fucking UFO, when they finally get over the superiority of showing you how slow they think you are they will pass you and proceeded to go twice the speed limit. You will later find their car upside-down in a nearby ditch as the maverick snowtard doesn't understand the new difficulty created by the snow.
A snowtard is a driver who, when introduced to a snowy/icy environment will act entirely inappropriately.
There are many ways in which you can express your self as a snowtard, some are more dangerous than others.
The most common and harmless snowtard is one who simply avoids leaving his or her house at the sight of snow, he or she is most likely to become a problem when calling you and either flaking out on previous plans or asking you for help in the form of transportation.
Another type of snowtard is considerably more visible, this is the moron you'll see spinning his or her tires for the sole purpose of destroying them. This type rarely goes very far and will often abandon their vehicle in the middle of the most heavily used arterial road because of a flat tire which he or she probably can't even change.
The final type of snowtard that I will be explaining today is the maverick type; this moron has a fairly decent vehicle equipped with AWD, traction control, snow tires, etc. and has come to the conclusion that they are completely invincible to snow. You will notice this person getting as close as possible to your rear bumper honking and beaming their 10,000 watt xenon lights into your car like a fucking UFO, when they finally get over the superiority of showing you how slow they think you are they will pass you and proceeded to go twice the speed limit. You will later find their car upside-down in a nearby ditch as the maverick snowtard doesn't understand the new difficulty created by the snow.
by P. Fillmore December 23, 2008
Get the Snowtard mug.one who enjoys sliding on frozen precipitate in a general downward direction on a combination of wood and p-tex formed into a board.
by alarna January 28, 2004
Get the snowboarder mug.Related Words
In the case of a blizzard/whiteout, there are those, most often of younger age, that will immediately gear up and set out into the snow-coated streets with one objective in mind; dominate with snow. These are snowbandits, one with the white, clandestine in their operations, and always armed with a variety of different caliber snowballs to suit any given situation. Often moves in groups of two or more, though the occasional lone wolf may be encountered. Be cautious of their cleverness in tactics, the snowbandits are not to be underestimated.
"What the hell happened to you?"
"I was on my way home from the grocery store, and I got ambushed guerrilla-style by a group of snowbandits. They plastered me with slushballs, a brutal choice. I only barely managed to escape."
"I was on my way home from the grocery store, and I got ambushed guerrilla-style by a group of snowbandits. They plastered me with slushballs, a brutal choice. I only barely managed to escape."
by Bezekric May 18, 2005
Get the snowbandit mug.Intense and paroxysmal excitement due to the combination of great snow conditions, prime gear, and amazing weather.
by _md March 16, 2009
Get the snowboardgasm mug.the best damn snowboards known to mankind!!! made specifially for more advanced riders they have a bamboo core which means its ultra flexible but still extremely strong. it rides like a Cadillac compared to the typical fords . provides good riding no matter where you plan to go. park, back country, upper bulls, powder runs, street. its got mad crazy pop i defiantly would suggest it.
typical amateur boarder: dude i got a new burton
more advanced rider: you have much to learn my son. arbor snowboards are where its at.
more advanced rider: you have much to learn my son. arbor snowboards are where its at.
by bubba ducky March 31, 2009
Get the arbor snowboards mug.People who freak out when it snows, forgetting how to drive their cars and generally acting like retards. This typically happens when it snows in the South, or when some fool from Florida visits Ohio in March.
by OhForF*cksSake March 29, 2015
Get the Snowtard mug.Old people who live in northern states, such as New York, Michigan, Vermont, Connecticut, etc, most of the year, but come October, all flock to Florida or bordering states. Well known for filling up our roads, beaches, restaurants, pretty much anywhere you can think. Native Floridians are the best drivers on earth due to having to share a road with them, and deal with their driving habits such as driving half the speed limit in a passing lane or coming to an absolute dead stop to make a turn on a busy road. The only reason snowbirds are widely accepted here is because most businesses and touirst traps see them as dollar signs, and they will gladly spend 30 dollars on a Florida mug with their grandkids names on it. Thats just a facade though, when in reality, most native floridians want them gone. The closer you get to a body of water, the snowbird density with increase. Most of them always complain about traffic, and how crowded everything is, when in reality they are the cause of the problem. They love to brag about their home states and how things are better back up north, but in reality, no one here gives a shit. They also believe that without them, Florida's economy would collapse, when in reality, it would rid the state of tourist traps that hug the interstate, something that no one here wants to begin with. Bottom line, snowbirds are people come down to Florida every winter to enjoy the whether, but complain about almost everything else...
Example 1
Floridian 1: Why does Google Maps say its going to take an hour to get to the mall? That drive is normally 10 minutes?
Floridian 2: Some snowbird flipped their Lincoln on I-75 because they slammed on their breaks trying to look at the scenery. Lets just go the back way and hope the same thing hasn't happened in that direction.
Example 2
Snowbird: Two hour wait to be seated at a table?! Back in Michigan, a table wouldve been ready for me , my wife Mable, and my 9 grandchilden already.
All the Floridians in the restaurant:
...then go back to Michigan...
Floridian 1: Why does Google Maps say its going to take an hour to get to the mall? That drive is normally 10 minutes?
Floridian 2: Some snowbird flipped their Lincoln on I-75 because they slammed on their breaks trying to look at the scenery. Lets just go the back way and hope the same thing hasn't happened in that direction.
Example 2
Snowbird: Two hour wait to be seated at a table?! Back in Michigan, a table wouldve been ready for me , my wife Mable, and my 9 grandchilden already.
All the Floridians in the restaurant:
...then go back to Michigan...
by Skeetwood Mac February 4, 2018
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