New Port Nowhere

A city in Florida actually called New Port Richey but was nicknamed as such because nobody else in florida has ever heard of it. People who move here tend to only saty for short periods of time , except for the elderly who tend to stay in the same spot forever. There is very little there from a cultural standpoint and its an hour drive before you can get to any of the good parts of Florida. Also Port Nowhere, a next to it which actually came second and is really the "new"er city. Because of its lack of culture its consists mostly of "Gangsta's" and "Prep's", and is speckled with a few "Individualists" that Swear they are leaving as soon as they can.
"Where do you live?"
"New Port Richey."
"New Port Where?"
"Well New Port Nowhere actually but close enough."
by Joe Zumchak July 01, 2006
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To be in the middle of Buttfuck nowhere.
Hillbilly country.

To be on an isolated place in the middle of nowhere.
Well done Terry, now the car's smashed up and we're IN THE MIDDLE OF BUTTFUCK NOWHERE, all because you had to hotbox THE FUCKING CAR WHILE DRIVING... WITH THE WINDOWS UP! FUCK YOU TERRY. FUCK YOU.

Just like that Hillbilly's over there's going to do.
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East Jesus Nowhere

An amazing Green Day song off their 2009 album 21st Century Breakdown. This song is about fundamentalist religion. Lead vocalist for Green Day, Billie Joe Armstrong, wrote this song after attending a baptism for a friend's baby. Green Day performed this song on the season 34 finale of Saturday Night Live. Will Ferrell, who hosted, accompanied them on cow bell. This did not air, but can be found on Youtube.
A fire burns today
Of blasphemy and Genocide
The sirens of decay
Will infiltrate the faith fanatics

Some of the lyrics to East Jesus Nowhere
by Ninja-Unicorn June 28, 2011
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East Jesus Nowhere

After driving for an hour, we got lost and ended up in East Jesus Nowhere. It took us three hours to get home
by holly hox, forget me nots April 14, 2009
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That ain't going nowhere

A term said by dads across America when they fasten something down and smack it to prove its static placement.
*drill noises*
*smacks object*
"That ain't going nowhere:"
by Eian Anderson May 30, 2021
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New Port Nowhere

A city in Florida actually called New Port Richey but was nicknamed as such because nobody else in florida has ever heard of it. People who move here tend to only saty for short periods of time , except for the elderly who tend to stay in the same spot forever. There is very little there from a cultural standpoint and its an hour drive before you can get to any of the good parts of Florida. Also Port Nowhere, a next to it which actually came second and is really the "new"er city. Because of its lack of culture its consists mostly of "Gangsta's" and "Prep's", and is speckled with a few "Individualists" that Swear they are leaving as soon as they can.
"Where do you live?"
"New Port Richey."
"New Port Where?"
"Well New Port Nowhere actually but close enough."
by Joseph Zumchak July 06, 2006
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Haulin' ass to nowhere

1. - Driving recklessly at a high rate of speed and passing other vehicles only to arrive at the same stop light or the same position in traffic as everyone else.

2. - Pointlessly passing another car at a high rate of speed in heavy traffic only to end up behind the same car 30 seconds later showing other drivers that you either have no depth perception or a small dick.
1. - John was late for work on Friday. Despite his best effort to maneuver through heavy traffic, he ended up haulin' ass to nowhere and was late anyway.

2. - "Hey, isn't that guy behind you the same guy who cut you off about two minutes ago?" "Yeah, it sure is." "Obviously he was haulin' ass to nowhere."
by Barman2000 November 05, 2011
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