Dave during 2021: Things couldn't get any worse, right?
Dave: *turns on the tv* A new virus called "Air Aids" has appeared. It originated in San Francisco and started spreading through Atlanta. If you're homosexual, you already have it, and you're gonna die. All straight people and non-faggots shall remain indoors until we get it sorted out.
Dave: Of course. Things CAN get worse.
Dave: *turns on the tv* A new virus called "Air Aids" has appeared. It originated in San Francisco and started spreading through Atlanta. If you're homosexual, you already have it, and you're gonna die. All straight people and non-faggots shall remain indoors until we get it sorted out.
Dave: Of course. Things CAN get worse.
by Stupid Af July 20, 2021
Get the Things couldn't get any worse mug.The combination of two English exclamations, in order to give extra gravitas to the fact that you don't care.
I couldn't give a flying fuck, and I couldn't give a monkey's arsehole.
I couldn't give a flying fuck, and I couldn't give a monkey's arsehole.
by Rikstir May 30, 2025
Get the I couldn't give a flying monkey's arsehole mug.No you couldn't have done it without me and no you didn't. I DID IT. YOU DID NOT. You do not need to reap the benefits of MY existence even a second before I do and YOU ALREADY ARE. You are reaping all of the benefits and you need to stop thanking and start paying because it is MY TURN to reap the benefits of MY work. You said America first. Ok. You ALREADY WERE. America got all they were going to get out of me. AND China I guess. So there. I'm propping up you economy with my own 2 hands. That was me. It matters that it was me and NOT FUCKING YOU. And I both NEED TO and DESERVE to gain because you already have."
Hym "No you couldn't have and you didn't, bitch. No you fucking couldn't have. Sensei was the strongest assassin and was therefore justified in teaching the Assassination Classroom. I was just telling that brunette the other day, do you know why Koro-Sensei is an 🐙? Because I can be quoted saying that 'As far as I'm concerned, I'm essentially a cephalopod wrapped around an exoskeleton.' So, no you fcuking couldn't have done it without me. I'm seeing a push to blackwash EINSTEIN. Like, I have actually seen people trying to say 'Well ackshually 🤓☝️Einstein didn't give his wife enough credit because WOMEN... Can also be smart and also these imaginary people who COULD HAVE DONE WHAT EINSTEIN DID but DIDN'T... COULD HAVE DONE THE THING THAT THEY DIDN'T DO.' But they didn't. So I did the thing. I SHOULD be recognized for doing the thing AND... AAAAND... BELIEVE IT OR NOT... YOU... Are doing things that YOU should not be doing INSTEAD OF ME. That is ALSO a thing that is happening, shit-brain. Because it CAN BE THE CASE that I (Me, this one specifically) should be doing those things and NOT ANYONE FUCKING ELSE."
by Hym Iam November 23, 2025
Get the No you couldn't have mug.A less explicit version of "You couldn't catch herpes in a whorehouse!" It means that no matter how hard they try, no one will be able to catch anything.
While a pack of dogs chased a cat, the cat insulted them by saying, "You couldn't catch chicken pox in a henhouse!"
by GallopingSausage April 15, 2019
Get the You couldn't catch chicken pox in a henhouse! mug.You have to be able to at least IMAGINE how bizarre it is for ME that you can't accept that you are just not as intelligent as I am.
Hym "No, you couldn't have figured it out. The experts couldn't have. The people that dedicated their lives to doing it couldn't have. Only I could have and I... Could have done it sooner. You could not have. I did."
by Hym Iam June 2, 2025
Get the No, you couldn't have mug.by chairmanpingu September 14, 2022
Get the Couldn't hit a blind man with a broken leg mug.He didn’t kiss me like a movie scene.
Looking back, I realize he kissed me like a man who was starving. Not with technique or grace, but with a terrifying, honest hunger. I remember feeling his hands shaking in my arms, on my skin, grasping at me like he was afraid I might turn into smoke.
There were tears in his eyes that he was trying so hard to hide, but the second our mouths met, I felt him break.
It was like coming home after a long, cold trip, that moment you drop your bags and finally collapse. There was no gentleness, just a rough tenderness that said, 'I am finally here, and I am not letting go.'
It wasn't about fireworks; it was about survival. He kissed me like he was trying to memorize the shape of my mouth before the world could pull us apart again.
I miss that desperation. I miss the way I was the only thing keeping him tethered to the ground.
Looking back, I realize he kissed me like a man who was starving. Not with technique or grace, but with a terrifying, honest hunger. I remember feeling his hands shaking in my arms, on my skin, grasping at me like he was afraid I might turn into smoke.
There were tears in his eyes that he was trying so hard to hide, but the second our mouths met, I felt him break.
It was like coming home after a long, cold trip, that moment you drop your bags and finally collapse. There was no gentleness, just a rough tenderness that said, 'I am finally here, and I am not letting go.'
It wasn't about fireworks; it was about survival. He kissed me like he was trying to memorize the shape of my mouth before the world could pull us apart again.
I miss that desperation. I miss the way I was the only thing keeping him tethered to the ground.
But mostly, I just miss him.
Because for a man who once kissed me like he couldn't breathe without me, he has become so incredibly silent.
For The Man Who Couldn't Breathe without Me
Because for a man who once kissed me like he couldn't breathe without me, he has become so incredibly silent.
For The Man Who Couldn't Breathe without Me
by Mi & Your♾️Fantasia December 16, 2025
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