Urban Dictionary: Definitions by GallopingSausage

You couldn't catch herpes in a whorehouse

A more sexually explicit version of, "You couldn't catch a cold", meaning that someone is not good at catching anything.

Wally was so non-athletic, he couldn't catch herpes in a whorehouse.

OR

Being pursued by bad guys: Can't you guys keep up? You couldn't catch herpes in a whorehouse!

by GallopingSausage April 10, 2019

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Put your pickle back in the jar

When someone tells you to put one's pickle back in the jar, they are telling you to stop jerking off or having sex.

Mom: Eric? What are you doing?
Eric (jerking off): I'm watching an interesting program!
Mom: Well then, put your pickle back in the jar and get out here! We have company.
Eric: Okay. (Walks out)

by GallopingSausage April 10, 2019

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You couldn't catch chicken pox in a henhouse!

A less explicit version of "You couldn't catch herpes in a whorehouse!" It means that no matter how hard they try, no one will be able to catch anything.

While a pack of dogs chased a cat, the cat insulted them by saying, "You couldn't catch chicken pox in a henhouse!"

by GallopingSausage April 15, 2019

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No duh, Darwin

A more family-friendly version of saying, "No shit, Sherlock!" Both expressions are a blunt reply when someone says the obvious.

Soldier: The heavy is a spy!

Scout: No duh, Darwin!

by GallopingSausage August 31, 2019

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Carve someone a new Blowhole

A more kid-friendly version of " tear a new asshole" . It's a pirate-oriented version, and it means to either give someone a massive whooping or to give someone a massive scolding.

That makes me so angry I want to carve someone a new blowhole!

by GallopingSausage June 15, 2020

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