Proximity shag

One may travel many shag miles to have sex with the right person. However, some people are either fortunate enough to have their sexual partner nearby.

Others, though, may simply be lazy or unimaginative and find or remain with their sexual partner simply because they are close to er.. hand. This is a "proximity shag" (noun and verb).

A: We split up because he is too many shag miles away. You on the other hand...

B: ...live next door. That makes me a...

A: ... proximity shag.

B: I suddenly don't feel very special.

by Roo October 6, 2013

cranial rectal proximity syndrome

corporate-speak or PC phrase to describe someone who's got their head stuck squarely up their ass.

Not sure what's going on with Joe today - he's acting like a real jerk. Maybe he's suffering from cranial rectal proximity syndrome

by Annakaleia September 30, 2011

proximity sensor

The nerve sensor inside your rectum that causes you to feel an increasing urgency to poop the closer you get to a toilet. The proximity sensor is activated by an already present need to take a crap. Once in the vicinity of a restroom, your proximity sensor will alert you that you are running out of time to reach the toilet and drop your pants, or suffer the consequences...

As I walked towards the bathroom, cheeks tightly clenched, my proximity sensor went crazy and I nearly pooped my pants before I could sit down.

by igottago... July 29, 2011

Proximity shower

A method of washing for when you have no hot water. You strip off and stand near the running water, using it to create a lather with soap, and rub that on yourself whilst you wait for the shower to reach the desired temperature. Useful in a hurry.

The boiler was out this morning so I took a proximity shower. It was awkward, but at least I'm clean.

by notmereally December 4, 2009

Proximity Tech Support

When your computer program isn't working right but when a friend or co-worker stands next to you, it starts to work, even though they hadn't done anything to assist you.

-Will you just come and stand next to my computer? I need some proximity tech support.
-Ah, thanks! Now its printing.

by Cherhawkinof October 16, 2009

Sack proximity

A situation in which your ballsack is welded together with your penis. Usually occurs after sitting down in a pair of jeans.

Man a: Hey, what the hell is that shit down there?

Man b: Oh, it's nothing, just experiencing some ol' sack proximity.

by Sackary June 8, 2010

The John Stamos Proximity Effect

The relative coolness of a person or object is defined by a value inversely proportional to the square of the distance of said object or person from John Stamos.

Bob Saget is only cool because of the John Stamos Proximity Effect after he was on Full House

by Armacham85 October 30, 2010