Stalagmite

A dried, almost rock-like piece of feces.

John was astonished to find a stalagmite in his attic.

by Lucky Is Sucky April 22, 2011

Stalagmite

The act of being not funny

"After Pat made a dumb joke, we all told him that he was stalagmite"

by Michael Albert November 10, 2004

stalagmite

The act of ruining a joke, or being not funny. (To replace the awkward silence after someone kills a joke).

After Pat tried to add on to a joke with a dumb comment, instead leaving an awkward silence we said to him "Stalagmite". (Which indicates all are in consensus that he is done talking and should stop before he looks even more dumb)

by The origional Pat May 14, 2006

stalagmite

when you take a dump and let it harden then stab someone with it

you be mean, I stalagmite you

by mr. 2cool November 4, 2011

stalagmite

A protrusion that can be used in a number of ways. It is stiff, unchanging, and can endure excessive amounts of pressure. It can vary in length and girth, and it usually is very straight and points in an upwardly direction.

"She rode my stalagmite all night long. I didn't even have to move."

by Calihoya December 2, 2004

Candarian stalagmite

A turd dilivered from a human anoose inside of a cave that stands proud and erect rising from the cave floor pointing towards the ceiling. The Candarian stalagmite has a remarkable resemblance to a regular stelagmite.

It is good fun to drop a Candarian stalagmite and have it discovered and examined by unsuspecting spelunkers.

by Puppychup August 8, 2019

sweatpant stalagmite

A brownish stain formed on the front of a pair of mens' sweatpants, caused by accumulated drips of urine through geologic history.

Jeremy is such a slob... did you see him sporting that sweatpant stalagmite yesterday?

by Tom&Nic April 18, 2008