The man born of a satanic ritual to haunt adults and
please children. First off to start the madness of this "creature", he is insanely fat and doesn't have
diabetes. Second, he gets stuck in chimney's bigger than him. Last, he sneaks into your house, knows when you sleeping and awake, so he basically knows everything about every human in the
history of the world.
Santa: *gets summoned out of pentagram* time to "investigate the
humansLittle child: I PROMISE TO BE GOOD THIS YEAR SO I CAN GET A SINGULAR HOTWEEL
Parents: he wishes Santa was real.
Santa: *breaks window and lands on
floor*
Obnoxiously Loud Child: YOUR REAL???? GIVE ME EVERYTHING ON THIS LIST, NOW!!!!!!!!!!
Santa: I am going home now. *gives child a string and some shotgun shells*
Child: BEST. GIFT. EVER!!!