masturcation

synonym for mastabbatical; a shorter "vacation" from hands-on satisfaction (masturfaction)

He had been feeling tired during the day, so he decided he needed a short masturcation; he benefitted so much from his masturcation that he then went on a 3-month mastabbatical.

masturcation by Mr. Punderful January 14, 2014

masturcation

to masticate (eat) and masturbate at the same time.

I had to make the meeting at three, and there was not time to eat and masturbate, so i masturcated.

masturcation by djtrurasta May 13, 2005

masturcation

Similar to rusty trombone. The act of simultaneously eating feces and playing with one's self.

"The young boy learned quickly the pleasure of eating shit and jerking it; the magical world of masturcation."

masturcation by ireallydontcareabootit June 11, 2008

Masturcation

Someone who studies masturbation and earns a degree in it.

I have a masturcations degree and I specialize in masturbation.

Masturcation by Word-Of-The.tumblr.com November 4, 2012

masturbating to the dictionary 

A phrase used as a comeback to a Grammar Nazi or to someone who says “grammar is sexy” during a conversation. It can be used in any situation to respond to someone who tries to shame you on your grammar.

i.e.
txt msg exchange
Timmy: Yo Jake, you wanna come over to Jason’s place to smoke after school? Meghan and Jill are coming over and I’m sure your have a dope time with us.
Jake: You mean *you’ll have a dope time.
Timmy: Dude, are you masturbating to the dictionary at your house? Don’t be such a Grammar Nazi.

Lucy: Hey Jamie, do you think Alex is doing good today after the party last night? You think he’s interested in hanging out later?
Jamie: You mean, doing WELL after the party…? Damn Lucy, grammar is sexy just an fyi.
Lucy: Wtf Jamie, when did you start masturbating to the dictionary?

masturbating to the dictionary by runninghighkid August 4, 2018

Comedic Masturbation 

When you are so funny by yourself that you laugh out loud without any participation by a partner.

Progresses from a small grin to a smile to a quiet giggle and then quickly reaches the climactic event of an audible belly laugh, or LOL. Following climax, tissue is often used to dry resulting wetness occuring in the ocular region.

My humor is not always understood by others and I frequently find myself involuntarily engaging in comedic masturbation.

Comedic Masturbation by K-Rista-Raaah July 22, 2016

Bureaucratic Masturbation 

noun - 1. Engaging in any activity for the sake of making one feel better about themselves, their organization, or their company without actually accomplishing anything. 2. Holding meetings to provide recommendations only to have management do what they wanted in the first place. 3. Holding special work group meetings to make the 'little people' feel ownership, when the decision has already been made by higher levels of management.

My boss has picked me to suffer through more Bureaucratic Masturbation, representing the department on a policy work group.
I spent the last 3 months researching the best candidate for the position and the Boss picked his pet employee anyway. God I hat Bureaucratic Masturbation!

Bureaucratic Masturbation by Bill Koogler January 17, 2008